


A Charm To Soothe An Aching Heart

by pocketjoong



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Aromantic Character, M/M, Mild Language, Multi, Queerplatonic vibes because I'm about that, Sexual Humor, Side Mingi/Others, Some characters have self-esteem issues but they're working on it, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Tagging M in case the last chapter gets heated, Witches, mild angst though fear not, more like there's a bushfire but everyone's reacting like the Australian Government, not so much slow burn, side woosan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:54:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 32,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23182063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocketjoong/pseuds/pocketjoong
Summary: Kim Hongjoong had never been very magical, even for a half witch. He had no witch traits to speak of - his eyes plain, his skin bare, his magic a weak little glimmer that required tokens or charms to activate. It wasn’t something that crossed his mind… until he fell in love with Park Seonghwa, a lunar witch with a soulmate mark that destined him to love somebody else.
Relationships: Kang Yeosang/Park Seonghwa, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 97
Kudos: 484





	1. Birch

**Author's Note:**

> Hoooookay
> 
> This is my first attempt at a chaptered fic and it has taken six months but I'm finally freaking posting it!!! I will update as I edit :3  
> Thank you to everyone on twt who encouraged and helped me with this! Especially @joongsgothgf for beta-ing and convincing me not to delete!
> 
> Hope you enjoy reading and apologies in advance for my appalling comma use  
> 0--0

The thing about living with other witches - the more  _ witchy _ kind of witches - was that you always risked getting tangled up in their magic. You might trip over someone's familiar, or knock over someone's potion, or bang your head on a low-hanging plant pot. Or, if you were a pre-caffeinated Kim Hongjoong, you might do all three at once. 

"Fucking  _ ow _ ," he hissed, clutching his forehead where the plant pot had collided with his skull. He was sprawled on the grey linoleum tiles in their tiny kitchen, still in his sleepwear, only really awake by virtue of adrenaline and pain. The rack of plants that hung from the ceiling was swaying violently, soil scattering over Hongjoong's body, but thankfully did not seem in danger of falling. The rest of their small kitchen was in equivalent disarray. The plastic coke bottle that had previously contained potion was lying forlornly next to the rice cooker, whilst the potion in question - a milky, lavender coloured liquid - had pooled all over the counter top and was dripping a little into the empty sink and mostly onto the floor. Meanwhile, the chief cause of the disaster was sitting neatly by the kitchen doorway, watching Hongjoong with a smug expression. Although he did always look kind of like that.

Familiars could take any form they pleased, so long as it was no bigger or smaller than their mass allowed. From what Hongjoong knew, most chose agile, practical shapes like cats, lemurs or birds of prey. However, nobody had ever accused Choi San of being conventional. His familiar Shiber usually appeared as a miniaturised shiba inu, about the size of a small cat, and seemed to have no useful abilities other than being cuddly and making himself unnaturally heavy when he needed to. Shiber also apparently enjoyed sleeping in doorways and tripping unsuspecting roommates in their early morning haze. 

Hongjoong turned around to scowl at him.

"What are you doing out here?" he grumbled. Shiber flicked his ears and huffed pointedly at San's closed bedroom door. 

"Ah, Wooyoung stayed the night?"

Shiber huffed again and trotted over with his head tilted in the way that signalled wanting attention. Hongjoong was pretty sure that familiars weren't supposed to like being touched by other witches, but he figured that he was only half witch, and Shiber was already breaking the mould. Yawning, he ran his fingers through the silky fur around his ears, skin tingling at the static discharge of raw magic. 

"Good boy," he said absently. Shiber preened and shifted so that Hongjoong got the spot on the back of his shoulder. Behind him, the spilled potion quietly started to fizz. Hongjoong glanced at it and was quite alarmed to see that it had started bubbling like frothed milk, gaining size with every passing second. The kitchen counter was turning an unpleasant grey colour where the bubbles touched it and there was a peppermint scent becoming so strong that it was making his eyes water. He hastily pulled his feet out of range and stumbled out of the kitchen, this time remembering to duck the hanging basket full of herbs.

"Choi-San-Choi-San-Choi-San," he called obnoxiously, banging his fists against San's door very quickly, "Stop sexiling your familiar! Also, we knocked your potion over in the kitchen and it's doing scary stuff!" 

He stopped banging for long enough to hear a muffled shriek, and then San was throwing the door open and streaking past Hongjoong in a blur of fluffy blonde hair and hideous neon orange t-shirt. Through the open door, Hongjoong could make out a Wooyoung-sized lump in San's bed, and Shiber wasted no time in trotting over to join him for a nap, merrily making the jump onto the bed though it should have been impossible for his stumpy legs. Hongjoong was almost tempted to follow him and go back to sleep, but who knew what terrible things had been done in that bed. 

"Joong, what did you  _ do? _ '' San whined from the kitchen. Hongjoong sighed and returned to find him mopping up lavender bubbles with a pile of napkins stolen from the barbeque place down the road. This mostly resulted in the napkins quickly becoming purple and soggy and the mess on the floor spreading even further across the kitchen. The peppermint smell was so strong that Hongjoong had to cover his nose with his sleeve.

"I didn't do anything!" Hongjoong protested. "Shiber tripped me! And you shouldn't have left the lid off anyway. Was it that important?" he added anxiously, starting to feel a bit bad about San's distraught expression. 

" _ Yes _ ," San wailed, pulling a dish towel into the fray, "Yunho bet me three scoops of ice cream  _ with toppings _ that I couldn't make a potion that lets you tell whether someone is wearing underwear just by looking at them. This took me all week to design!" 

"Amazing," Hongjoong said flatly, having stopped feeling guilty as soon as he heard the word 'Yunho'. "Stop making pervert potions in our kitchen and for god's sake, put on some pants. I don't need magic to see your ass hanging out of that T-shirt," he complained as he left the room. 

San made an indignant sound.

"You should feel lucky, I have a fantastic ass." 

Hongjoong answered that in the only way it deserved: by slamming the bathroom door shut and never thinking about it again.

By the time he returned to the kitchen, clean and bundled up in jeans and a hoodie, the potion was all gone. San, now thankfully wearing tracksuit pants, was sitting cross legged on the ground, eating cold leftover fried rice straight out of the container from the fridge. Hongjoong shot him a disgusted look as he made up instant coffee and added green and pink sugar from the enchanted jar that Jongho had gifted to them the year prior. The youngest member of their friendship circle had lived a sheltered human upbringing and was very entertained by flashy little magics. Neither of them had had the heart to tell him that if they wanted coloured sugar on demand, it would take a four second spell to make it happen. Even Hongjoong knew how to do a colour-cup enchantment, and he hadn't practiced anything like that kind of magic since scraping a pass in highschool. Still, it was cute. Jongho was cute. 

"Your hair is dripping red dye water into your collar," San informed him. "I don't know why you wouldn't just let me use a potion instead of fucking around with bleach again." 

"Watch your fucking language," Hongjoong said mildly, "And the day I give you direct control over my hair colour is the day I'll let Yunho into my bedroom with chocolate milk again. So, never. Anyway, it's a black shirt so you can't see the dye." 

San muttered something mutinous but Hongjoong ignored it in favour of shoving the witch out of the way with his foot so that he could access the snack cupboard. 

"I'm going to class, then I'm going to work. I'll be back -"

"- by nine, but you don't have to wait to eat dinner. We know your schedule, mom," Wooyoung recited as he wandered into the room. Shiber was held up against him like a toddler, fluffy tail whipping back and forth at great speed as he snuffled his nose into the soulmate mark on the man's shoulder. He held out Hongjoong's necklace, tokens rattling as he handed it over.

"Brat," Hongjoong accused, without any real malice. He shoved the snacks into his backpack and swiped his headphones from the back of the sofa, then kicked Mingi's door as he passed it, resulting in a suspiciously Yunho-sized thud and a series of curses. 

"Get up for class!" he hollered, and left the apartment without waiting for an answer, stuffing the token necklace under his hoodie as he went. Despite the fact that San and Mingi were only born a year later than him, Hongjoong had sort of assumed the role of the leader in their household, the one who was in charge of paying rent on time and making sure everyone ate a vegetable every once in a while. 

Whilst Yunho didn't officially live with them, he hung around Hongjoong and Mingi so much that he might as well be on the lease. After waking up on multiple occasions with six feet of excitable boy weighing him down into the mattress, Hongjoong had just added his name to the chore roster and started buying an extra portion of groceries. 

A few months later, San had come home in a panicked daze, rambling incoherently about soulmate marks and silver hair humans and the hot guy who worked in the campus library. After much pining, angsting, and Hongjoong eventually threatening violence, Wooyoung was added in to the fold. Having been raised non-magically, he was a little wary after finding out that the 'birthmark' on his arm was in fact a little magic seal that bound him to a witch, but the fact that he was completely whipped for San helped and they smoothed everything over pretty quickly. However, if Hongjoong had held any hopes that Wooyoung would help to keep San out of trouble, those hopes were quickly dashed when he came home one night to find him cackling manically and filming as San, Yunho and Mingi attempted to play Wii tennis and spin head over heels at the same time, floating a foot or so above their living room floor. After that incident, Hongjoong graded seelie leaf as a Class A drug and banned it from the apartment. 

So Hongjoong had four idiots to look after and only the weakest grasp on responsible adulthood himself. Luckily, Wooyoung came as a package deal with Jongho, who had more sense than all of them put together and an unnatural talent for almost everything he set his hands on. He occasionally helped Hongjoong knock some sense into the others, when he could garner some free time outside his insane juggling act between hairdressing, music studies, gym schedule and dance classes. Unfortunately, Hongjoong was too small to replicate his effective method of just sitting on the offending party until they promised to behave. 

Mingi and Yunho had also gained a tag along from their online gaming group, a quiet kid called Yeosang who Hongjoong could sometimes barely get a read on. He was shy at first, to the point where Hongjoong wondered whether he actually wanted to be there or just couldn't say no, but then he caught Yeosang viciously pinching Mingi's nipple to make him let go of the TV remote and he figured he could hold his own. Yeosang rarely gave much away with his solemn expressions and dry sense of humour, but Hongjoong quickly caught on to his habit of doing things for everyone without saying a word. If Hongjoong woke up and the kitchen had been cleaned or his laundry had been folded or there was a flask of coffee on the counter, he could almost always attribute it to Yeosang. And then - perhaps spurred by Mingi's casual, exuberant skinship - there was the hesitant affection. Yeosang would settle beside Wooyoung on the sofa just close enough for their legs to touch, or hover around San when he was making potions, occasionally butting against the green witch's shoulder like a cat. Hongjoong very secretly and quietly loved it when Yeosang shyly asked if he could study in Hongjoong's room and more often than not ended up falling asleep on the bottom of Hongjoong's bed, face usually resting on his programming textbooks. He was nice to have around, even if he was secretive and mysterious, and Hongjoong was glad Mingi and Yunho had invited him in. Besides, he occasionally said something hilariously sarcastic or mean and Hongjoong appreciated not being the only petty bitch in the house. 

He was mentally weighing up the chances of having to pick up more food for Yunho and Yeosang as he wandered over to the music block, too distracted thinking about noodles to notice the shadow that suddenly fell into step beside him. So when a hand gently nudged his headphones away from his left ear, he jumped about a foot in the air and let out something between a wheeze and a shriek as he tripped on his untied boot lace. The same gentle hands grabbed him firmly above the elbows before he could take the fatal fall down the concrete stairs to the music block.

"-y God, Hongjoong!" he heard in his free ear. "You have to pay more attention here on earth." 

Seonghwa was smiling at him with an expression that was more fond than stern, and Hongjoong felt his heart do a pathetic little motion in his chest as his own mouth curved up in response. As per usual, Seonghwa looked like he'd just stepped out of a beauty commercial, all soft brown hair and glowing skin, somehow making an oversized red cardigan and a black t-shirt look like runway material.

"Hi," Hongjoong greeted, slipping the headphones back to hang around his neck. "I'm sorry I didn't hear you."

"Don't be sorry, be careful," Seonghwa chastised him, and then Hongjoong's brain briefly went offline as the taller man dropped onto one knee and began neatly relacing his boots for him. Seonghwa's t-shirt had a loose neckline and the position was giving Hongjoong a horrifyingly clear view of his bare chest, which was doing wonders for Hongjoong's overactive imagination and making it incredibly hard to concentrate.

"Hwa, they're not supposed to look tidy," he complained, hiding his face in his hands to cover the fact that it had probably caught fire. He was never going to be able to unsee all that soft skin and toned muscle and he pleaded with his subconscious to  _ at least _ let it go until he was behind the locked door of his bedroom.

"I'm not letting you break your neck for fashion," Seonghwa said, then casually grabbed Hongjoong's wrist and yanked it down so he could hoist himself back up to his feet. All Hongjoong could do was pray his face wasn't doing anything obviously incriminating as his heart did a somersault. And given Seonghwa's smug expression, that prayer was going unanswered. He wasn't sure if Seonghwa was really  _ flirting _ with him all the time, exactly, but he sure as hell looked pleased with himself whenever he managed to get Hongjoong all flustered or caught him staring at his arms. Which Hongjoong really did not understand at all. Because he knew for a fact that Seonghwa had a soulmate, and Hongjoong did not.

Some traits were rare amongst witches, like having sharp teeth or glittering gold eyes, or manifesting a familiar with your magic. San had a certain degree of fame on campus on account of having all three (and also due to the dandelion incident that he had caused in his very first week). Seonghwa was also well known amongst the student population, though whether that was for his tiny halo of constellations or just stunning appearance in general was open to debate.

Soulmate marks, on the other hand, were about prevalent as being left-handed. So Hongjoong hadn't really been surprised to see a silvery, iridescent little mark on Seonghwa's forearm when he'd worn a sleeveless shirt one day. He had been a little,  _ tiny _ bit sad about having his heart crushed into the metaphorical concrete, but only he, Jongho, and a now empty bottle of tequila needed to know anything about that. And so what if his heart stuttered when Seonghwa grabbed his hand to tug him along beside him? Hongjoong knew from personal experience that a relationship with someone soulbound would always end in tears, and he had no interest in hurting himself or Seonghwa like that. Even if he was lovely and funny and devastatingly hot.

"Come on," he said, pulling his fingers free of Seonghwa's grasp. "We're going to be late for class."


	2. Clover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is doing okay!  
> Finished proofreading just before I had to go to work phew

About thirty minutes into their class, listening to his lecturer drone on about the possibility of working the golden ratio into time signatures, he almost wished he'd just fallen down the stairs and died. Intermediate Composition and Arithmancy was not an elective that Hongjoong would ever have imagined himself doing, given his history with magic. His mother was a sea witch, but she'd moved inland at a young age and worked as a paralegal. As such, Hongjoong had only grown up with basic household enchantments and the extensive collection of hexes and counter-hexes you needed to survive high school with the magically inclined. Whenever he'd ask for help with his homework, his mother really would try, but it usually came down to ' _ I don't know the technicalities, honey, I just kind of feel it out' _ . His dad was human and an engineer, so he wasn't much help either. Hongjoong had always done alright in the magical theory assessments, but his lack of intuitive casting made senior year stressful enough that he almost made himself sick before he graduated. His practical magic teacher had always likened different types of spellwork to different languages and described intuitive magic as the way you connected to an energy source. Hongjoong felt as though he was fluent in several dialects but nothing would listen to him save for the very distant ocean. Wearing tokens like shells or sea glass helped, but those were banned from practical assessments just as calculators were banned in maths exams. And so, as with Pythagorean theorem, Hongjoong consoled himself with the fact that after high school, he would probably never really need the skill again. 

Understandably, when MUA1050: Music and Creative Magic presented itself as a core subject in his second semester of university, he wasn't exactly thrilled. And when a very tall, pretty boy with tailored black clothing and golden constellations around his head had sat down next to Hongjoong in the lecture hall, he was ready to write the guy off as one of those pure magic types who still got off on tripping half-witches in the cafeteria. Hot, yes, smart, yes, but most likely a purist asshole. 

Of course, Seonghwa had then smiled that stupidly cute wide smile and introduced himself and Hongjoong had been disgustingly in love ever since. Hongjoong had soon realised that he was also quick-witted and caring and adorable, because the universe  _ wasn't fair _ . He collected How to Train Your Dragon plushies and Gundam models and washed his clothes with a few drops of sweet orange essential oil because the smell made him feel lucky. And so Hongjoong, like the sucker he was, ended up agreeing to do another magic class just because it was an elective in Seonghwa's divination major too. He glanced over at the witch in question, who was diligently taking notes in his immaculate A5 spiral-bound notepad, complete with diagrams that he'd somehow copied from the blackboard with a neat little spell. Hongjoong looked sadly at his own notes for this class - a collection of barely legible pencil scrawls in the back of his Music Technology notebook. He was going to have to beg for tutoring for sure. 

Somewhere in the middle of thinking about study dates with Seonghwa (and other dates with Seonghwa, and cuddling with Seonghwa, and making out with Seonghwa...), he must have dozed off because the next thing he heard was the cacophony of eighty or so people folding their desks away and getting ready to leave the hall. Hongjoong feigned awareness and blearily shoved his own belongings back into his bag, startling when Seonghwa's hand came up to ruffle his hair.

"Did you have a good nap?" 

Hongjoong pouted.

"I wasn't napping, I was just listening hard," he said, pretending to bite at Seonghwa's fingers.

Seonghwa laughed and tugged Hongjoong's hair playfully before pulling back.

"I'm sure. Do you have any plans for lunch? You're working this evening, right?" 

Hongjoong pulled a face as they traipsed back up the stairs to the building's exit. 

"Yeah, one til nine. I was just going to study now and then eat something at work, but I'm easy. I mean flexible," he corrected himself, face heating up. "I mean, I can change my plans for you." 

Seonghwa's smile was far from innocent.

"For me? So cute," he commented. "I was going to treat you to lunch, seeing as you made dinner for me last week." 

"You don't need to repay that, you came over to help San with his essay. Making food for a guest doesn't count," Hongjoong argued. "We make food for Yeosang and Jongho all the time." Seonghwa rolled his eyes. 

"They're basically your children at this point, that's different. When am I going to meet them, anyway? I loved meeting Mingi and Yunho." 

They kept up the chatter as they walked over to their usual café, and Hongjoong was so busy talking about his next music project that he almost didn't notice Seonghwa gesture at the cashier to put both orders together.

"... so then I was trying to make the lyrics less cringey but - Hey! I said you don't have to pay for mine," he protested, digging in his bag to find his wallet. Seonghwa smoothly held him at bay by the back of his collar and used his extra height to pass the money to the girl behind the counter whilst Hongjoong fruitlessly tried to reach out to stop him.

"Maybe I like having you owe me," Seonghwa commented, accepting his change with a thank you. The cashier stumbled over her words as he smiled at her and Hongjoong empathised intensely.

"Thank you for the food," he said as they sat down at a table, "but don't think this means you're getting away with it! You're coming to dinner on Friday night," he added as Seonghwa beamed. "I'll invite Yeosang and Jongho too."

"Hey, I'm the oldest," he protested. "You can't just adopt me like those puppies." 

"Watch me."

Seonghwa laughed and fed him a piece of chicken, ignoring his insistence that he could feed himself. He switched the conversation topic to Hongjoong's housemates and Hongjoong filled him in on the underwear sensing potion that had almost destroyed their kitchen. 

"The funniest thing," Seonghwa snickered, "Is that inventing such a specific perception tonic should be insanely difficult, but San still needs me to tutor him on first year spell design. His intuitive magic must be off the charts." 

"Well, that would explain the sparkly eyes and the pointy teeth. And Shiber. And the plants," Hongjoong mused, piling their empty plates together neatly. 

"The plants?" Seonghwa asked, tilting his head curiously. Hongjoong grimaced. 

"Yeah, they just show up sometimes when he's emotional. Him pining after Wooyoung was a nightmare. There were these little poisonous pink flowers  _ everywhere _ and we had to start eating out all the time because San kept manifesting toxic petals when we tried to cook. And then there was the time when some dude was being creepy to him on his walk home and he got really scared and accidentally summoned a horde of gibbering dandelions in the middle of campus. Apparently it took the security team all week and four litres of pesticide to hunt them all down." 

Seonghwa's eyes widened. 

"I heard about that, but I didn't realise it was San," he said. "That kid is something else. If he had half of your knowledge of magical theory, he'd be the perfect green witch. And kind of terrifying." 

"He's already enough of a menace," Hongjoong said, only half meaning it. Seonghwa gave one of his pretty, gentle smiles.

"I know you're joking, but if you ever need some quiet time you're always welcome to come and hang out at mine," he offered. "I have the living room if you want to study alone, or we can make a date of it." 

Hongjoong felt his face warm up and he stared hard at the table. 

"I'm- sure, I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, Hwa." 

"You're welcome, Joong. Now come on, let me walk you to work." 

Once they reached their destination, Seonghwa sent him off to work with a brief hug and the promise to come and walk him home later, waving off Hongjoong's protests as he did every time they had the conversation. Hongjoong had tried pointing out that it was hypocritical of Seonghwa to walk in the dark alone to come and get him, but the other just calmly informed him that half of his family had an affinity for blood magic and that he 'knew a few things.' Hongjoong was a little intimidated and more than a little awestruck and promptly admitted defeat on that point. 

Working retail wasn't the most glamourous job out there, but it paid enough to get by on part time hours, the manager was flexible in exam season, and Hongjoong's coworkers were usually great. Usually. 

As soon as he walked in the door, Soyeon flicked him harshly on the forehead with her perfectly manicured red nail, scowling at him.

"What the fuck?" he yelped reflexively, then quickly checked there were no customers nearby. Luckily, nobody seemed to be shopping for chain store indie fashion on their Monday lunch break.

Soyeon stood back, hands on her hips. She was dressed simply in a loose white t-shirt and high-waisted black cotton pants, only her name tag and lanyard marking her as an employee.

"I told you not to bring your hot boyfriend here!" She scolded. "As soon as the guy in the convenience store across the road thinks you're taken, he's going to stop bringing over the expired chocolate and letting me park my scooter in their staff area." 

Hongjoong returned her expression. 

"Firstly, Seonghwa is not my boyfriend," he said, ignoring her scoff of disbelief, "And secondly, that guy is  _ absolutely  _ doing it for you, you asshole." 

She followed him towards the door to the staffroom, one eye trained on the shop entrance. 

"He literally comes to walk you home every time you finish after dark like the perfect husband? And don't be stupid, I radiate big dick energy. It's like having a lesbian pride flag stapled to my face." 

Hongjoong scoffed as he wriggled out of his hoodie, deciding to ignore the quip about Seonghwa walking him home. That was definitely a normal friend thing.

" _ I  _ didn't realise you were a lesbian," he pointed out. Soyeon tapped him gently on the nose with the tip of her pointer finger.

"That's because  _ you _ were a dumb baby bisexual with no gaydar until I taught you better," she cooed.

"Shut up," he huffed. "Anyway, you're hot and scary and that guy is clearly a step-on-me-mommy type and he probably doesn't have a gaydar either," he argued. His hearing was slightly muffled as he yanked a black t-shirt over his head but he heard Soyeon hum in consideration. 

"Fair, but still. No hot boyfriend allowed. You want me to do your eyeliner?" 

"He's not my boyfriend, oh my god. And I wasn't going to bother with it today," Hongjoong said as he added a customised black button up to his ensemble and haphazardly pinned his nametag onto it.

"Shut up, you get twice as many sales when you have smokey eyes and do that I'm-bored-but-maybe-you-could-entertain-me eyebrow thing," Soyeon said, giving him a critical once over as he stepped out onto the shop floor. "Especially now that you've gone all strawberry red. Looks hot. If you let me do your eyes you'll have Mister Not-Boyfriend all over you in a second." 

Hongjoong felt flustered despite himself.

"I'm too short and soft to be hot," he protested halfheartedly, dithering in the doorway. "Do you really think he'd like it?" 

"Jesus, Yuqi was right, you really are a useless gay. Watch the registers whilst I get my makeup bag. I'll make Tall Dark and Sparkly drop to his knees and beg." 

"We are at  _ work. _ " 

It took her about an hour and a half to make him up because a handful of customers stopped in and Hongjoong had to suffer through giving advice on jeans sizing whilst hyper aware that only one of his eyes had smokey shimmer and the other was hideously naked. When she was finished with his eyes and had fluffed up his hair, even he could see that he looked good. A bit manic pixie dream boy, maybe, but sharp around the edges. Yuqi whistled suggestively when she arrived at four and then draped herself over the front counter and asked for his number, much to the amusement of the nearby customer she hadn't seen. Hongjoong put up with her obnoxious fake flirting (ranging from coy eyelash fluttering to sleazy pick up lines) for about half an hour before he threw a pair of novelty socks at her and declared that he was going on his break. Felix arrived to relieve Soyeon at five and Hongjoong thought he might have been slightly dazed by the makeup and tight jeans, but then Felix looked kind of spaced out most of the time so it was hard to tell. Jongho knew him from dance class and had mentioned he was a dream witch, so that might've had something to do with it. Or it could just be customer service slowly extinguishing the man's soul.

The last hour of the shift dragged out infinitely, with Yuqi resorting to reorganising a scarf display into rainbow colours whilst Felix was meditating/napping at the front counter and Hongjoong brazenly brought his laptop and headphones out and worked on his composition project on the floor outside the changing rooms, shoving the ensemble into one of the cubicles whenever the door chime went off. They didn't really need three people for the Monday night close, but Felix was technically a junior and their manager was paranoid about a spate of armed robberies in the area. Why she thought that having another young, scrawny employee around would deter a hardened criminal was beyond Hongjoong, but he didn't care either way. 

Seonghwa showed up at five to nine, just after they'd closed the safe and locked up the store room, and Hongjoong watched fondly as he settled into a leaning position next to the shop front, earphones in, completely engaged with something on his screen. Yuqi smacked Hongjoong lightly on the shoulder to bring him back to earth and he scrambled to get his laptop and headphones back into his bag, embarrassed that she'd caught him staring. Hongjoong was the supervisor for this shift, but Felix asked if he could try activating the protective wards and he shrugged, reasoning that the more trained closing staff they had, the better. They locked up and Yuqi stared with open fascination as the freckles on Felix's face sparkled silver when he cast. The ensuing barrage of questioning and flustered explanations gave Hongjoong the chance to pocket the key and slip away to Seonghwa. 

The other man was still leaning against the wall, focussed on his screen with an intensity that was reserved solely for watching dramas that he'd become emotionally involved in. He must have seen Hongjoong move toward him in his peripheral vision though, because he tapped the screen to pause and looked up, smile caught half-formed as he did a double take, looking Hongjoong up and down.

Hongjoong felt giddy with confidence and more than a little smug that it was Seonghwa's turn to be flustered. 

"Oh Joong! You were - you've ah, changed?" he managed to say, seeming not to know where to look. 

"Do you like it?" Hongjoong asked sweetly, performing a little spin. "Seoyeon did my makeup for me. She's good, right?" 

"So good. Very good. You look like a fairy," Seonghwa said, having collected himself enough to smile. Hongjoong pouted. 

"A fairy?" His flat tone conveyed what he thought of that comparison. 

"Not like, a little flying decorative fairy," Seonghwa clarified as he packed away his earphones. "I mean the ones in the old lore. The pretty, dangerous creatures that had courts and blood tithes and enchanted humans to dance until they died." 

"Better," Hongjoong decided. "Does that mean you'll be taking me home in a carriage of silver and thorns from now on?" 

Seonghwa laughed.

"I'm afraid it's still just walking, unless you want me to carry you on my back." 

"Bye Hongjoong! Bye Hongjoong's hot friend!" Yuqi called obnoxiously loudly from behind them. Hongjoong turned to see a red-faced Felix attempting to drag her away before she embarrassed him any further and Hongjoong resolved to give him the first choice of the expired chocolate next time they had some in the staff room. Seonghwa waved back goodnaturedly and then gestured to Hongjoong that they should start walking. 

The walk back to the apartment wasn't particularly scenic, but neither was it really dangerous enough to warrant being walked home after dark. However, Seonghwa liked to make a point of stepping closer or linking their arms whenever they passed through a poorly lit alley or saw any rowdy groups of drunk students. Hongjoong made fun of him for being a fussy mother, but internally he quite enjoyed having the excuse to huddle close. Tonight, Seonghwa seemed clingier than ever, interlacing their fingers at the first sign of strangers on the path ahead. He didn't let go even when they approached the nicest parts of their journey, and Hongjoong was hyper aware of the soft, gentle hand around his own. He hoped his blush wasn't too noticeable as they made idle conversation, Seonghwa filling him in on the most recent events of his drama whilst he vented about work. Once they reached the stairs outside Hongjoong's apartment block, Seonghwa cut off his complaining about the store's lack of a microwave by tugging him back around to face him, standing one step up so they were about the same height.

"Hey, can I talk to you?" he asked quietly. 

"Haven't you just been doing that for fifteen minutes?" Hongjoong teased, but reassured him straight after. "No, really though, of course you can. What's up?" 

Seonghwa looked a little anxious and Hongjoong moved to take his other hand, squeezing his fingers to comfort him. 

"You look really, really good," Seonghwa murmured, eyes tracing over Hongjoong's face, lingering on his mouth. "You're so pretty all the time."

Hongjoong was not expecting that. He felt hot all over, flustered and shy. 

"Thanks?" He managed to say, hoping his voice wasn't as strained as it felt.

Seonghwa bounced on his toes a few times, like he was gearing up. 

"I just wanted to tell you that I like you," he said, very quickly, "As more than a friend." 

Hongjoong was stunned into silence, not a single useful response formulating in his brain. He opened his mouth to say something - 'oh', maybe, or 'what' - but Seonghwa rushed to cut him off. 

"Don't say anything yet! I know - or well - I've been getting the feeling that you like me too, at least a little, but there's something holding you back, and that's fine! I don't want to rush you or pressure you or anything and it's also fine if I misinterpreted, I know rune reading can be a bit - well, that's beside the point. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you my side of it, in case it was reassuring for you. Just think about it first, okay?" 

"Uh, sure," Hongjoong said dazedly. Seonghwa liked him? Seonghwa didn't know about Hongjoong's feelings? Seonghwa  _ liked _ him? Seonghwa did rune readings about him? Seonghwa liked  _ him _ ? 

"Okay, I'm happy that you know," Seonghwa said, smiling at him. "Now get inside before you get too cold. You should have put your hoodie back on before we walked," he nagged, disentangling his hands from Hongjoong's so that he could rub at his bare arms instead. 

"Okay," Hongjoong squeaked, allowing himself to be pulled along to the building entrance. He felt like he was not quite inside his own body.

"Sleep well, don't stress about it, okay? There's no hurry for you to respond. We don't need to talk about it until you're ready, okay? I'll see you on Wednesday for class. Goodnight." Seonghwa finished his nervous goodbye by pressing a gentle kiss to Hongjoong's forehead, and then he was walking away with his hands in his pockets, as though it were any other night.


	3. Elderberry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up my chapter lengths are so inconsistent ahaha  
> The next couple are a bit short but I promise there's meatier ones on the horizon! Hope you enjoy!

Hongjoong numbly let himself into the building and hit the call button for the ancient elevator, not trusting his shaky knees to handle the stairs. He didn't bother with his door keys, instead ringing the doorbell incessantly until Mingi yanked it open with a scowl.

"Who the - Joong? What's up with you?" 

Hongjoong responded by making a few suppressed screaming sounds and then wandered through the living area, walking straight past San, Yunho and Yeosang so that he could throw himself onto his bed and yell into his pillow. 

He heard a whispered game of rock-paper-scissors take place in the living room and then he felt a Yunho-sized weight settle onto the bed next to him, one long, warm arm looping around his body.

"Are you ok? You're worrying your kids," Yunho whispered, petting Hongjoong's back in a soothing way. 

"M'fine," Hongjoong said into the pillow. "I just. Have a lot of feelings."

"About?" Yunho prompted.

"Seonghwa?" Hongjoong whined. 

"Oh, are you guys dating yet?" San piped up from where he was eavesdropping at the door. Hongjoong turned so fast his neck clicked. San and Mingi were leaning in from each side of his doorframe, whereas Yeosang had abandoned any attempt at subtlety and was sitting cross legged in the middle of it, playing something on Yunho's Switch.

"What are you talking about?" Hongjoong demanded. 

San rolled his eyes, but Mingi got in first.

"You guys are so bad," he said. "The sexual tension is painful. When you brought him over to meet us I thought that was your way of saying you had a boyfriend but were too shy to say. It's like watching a bad rom-com." 

Hongjoong couldn't prevent his mouth from falling open, stuck somewhere between offended and surprised.

"You're both whipped," San agreed mercilessly. 

"Who is this guy? What happened?" Yeosang asked, not looking up from the Switch. 

Hongjoong huffed. 

"A friend of mine. He told me he likes me. And held my hand!" He said miserably, "But I don't get it, because he has a soulmate mark. And I don't." 

"You don't?" Yeosang asked, pausing his game. He looked a little put out at the mention of soulmate marks. 

"Nope. So why did he say he has feelings for me?" Hongjoong demanded, putting his face back into the pillow.

"Joong, you know people can have relationships outside of their soulbond, right?" San said, exasperated. "You guys could be really happy together." 

"Yeah, until he meets his soulmate," Yeosang added in bitterly. "How's that fair on Hongjoong? Anyone this guy likes until then is a placeholder." 

The truth of the words stung Hongjoong's heart like iodine and his eyes prickled with tears.

"Yeosang!" Yunho gasped. "That's a horrible thing to say." 

"No, he's right," Hongjoong said. "That's what happened with my parents. I've seen it and it sucks." 

There was a very awkward pause in which Hongjoong wanted to roll into a void and disappear. All the others knew about his parents was that they were separated and that he didn't like to talk about it. After he'd snapped at Mingi for asking about it the first time, they'd learnt to leave the topic alone. He sighed into the pillow.

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore," he said flatly. "Can we just watch a movie?" 

The four younger boys agreed, obviously relieved at the escape option, and Yunho bodily lifted a squawking Hongjoong up from his sulking position, narrowly avoiding bashing his head on the door frame as he carried him over to the sofa. Yeosang quietly situated himself half in Hongjoong's lap, still playing his game, and Mingi folded his lanky body into Hongjoong's other side, clinging like a baby. San divebombed into the last remaining space on the couch and Yunho attempted to crush them all by lying on top of them, resulting in his violent ejection from the furniture. He pouted as he dragged a beanbag over and settled on the floor, head leaning back into San's lap. Yunho had chosen an animated movie about a witch that was beautifully presented and very, very cute, but the soothing piano soundtrack and the warm weight of two familiar bodies next to him made Hongjoong drowsy. He dozed and woke with a jolt a few times and it wasn't long before Yeosang just pulled him over to rest against him and started combing gentle fingers through his crimson hair. 

"S'okay Joong, just sleep," he murmured. Hongjoong followed his advice and was out less than a minute later. 

Waking up with his eye makeup smudged across Yeosang's neck and a dead leg courtesy of Mingi wasn't the best experience, but he admittedly felt better for the affection. At some point in the night Yunho had retreated to Hongjoong's room with Shiber and San had somehow fallen asleep sprawled on the floor with the beanbag covering his legs like a blanket and Mingi's sweater bunched up under his head as a pillow. With a groan, Hongjoong disentangled himself from Mingi and Yeosang enough to check his phone, only to find there was less than a minute before his alarm was due to go off. He wriggled out from the sofa, leaving Mingi to crawl closer to crush Yeosang instead, and dragged himself into the bathroom for a shower. 

Standing under the hot water gave him the time to remember what had happened with Seonghwa, experience a numbing surge of panic, decide that he wasn't ready to deal with that yet, and replace all Seonghwa-related thoughts with rhythm and melody. After years of borderline obsessive pursuit of song ideas, it was easy to fall into the creative headspace and he shuffled back to his room, only half-aware of the tickle fight taking place on the sofa as he tried to connect lyric fragments into something meaningful in his mind. Humming, he shut himself in his room with his laptop and headphones, downed half a concentration tonic, and got to work. He managed to keep himself occupied until his late morning classes, though he found it harder to focus on his Music Technology workshop when he saw another witch using the same note taking spell Seonghwa used. With the end of classes came his afternoon shift at the shop, and Wooseok's amicable silence unfortunately did not provide him with any distraction from his thoughts. Yeosang was right, of course. It wasn't that Hongjoong would begrudge Seonghwa for wanting his soulmate when he eventually found them. How could he? It would hurt Hongjoong to make Seonghwa unhappy. That wasn't the problem. The thing was, when his mother had met her soulmate, he had watched her drown in guilt for months whilst his father encouraged her to leave him until they gradually, painfully fell apart. It wasn't something he wanted to go through. And besides, Hongjoong clearly wouldn't be enough for someone like Seonghwa - someone with a soulmate. He had no doubt it would be someone equally stunning, probably a lot more magical and with less self-destructive work habits. Hongjoong was just _messy_ , full of anxiety and unresolved feelings and internal conflicts, always avoiding his problems instead of facing them, never certain of who he was or what he was doing. Seonghwa deserved someone put together, someone who remembered to eat every day and didn't need talking down from a panic attack whenever their projects were rejected. He deserved someone patient and calm, who didn't fuck up every spell they attempted and snap at everyone when they were tired. In short, he deserved better than Hongjoong. The problem was going to be getting Seonghwa to see it. 

He was roused from his front counter brooding by Wooseok's tall, kind of scary friend clicking his fingers in front of his face. Hongjoong jumped violently and had to scramble to catch a pile of promotional hand sanitisers that almost fell from the counter.

"Whoa. I just asked if Wooseok is here? You okay?" the guy asked, a little guiltily.

"Oh, yeah, he's out back. He should be finished at… oh, it's almost three already! In five minutes," Hongjoong told him, squinting at the clock on the wall. 

"Okay… I'll wait outside?" the scary guy suggested. Hongjoong nodded, still reeling at the fact he'd let almost forty minutes go by whilst he was zoning out. Proving his own point about being self absorbed and unproductive. 

Soyeon came in at four to swap out with him and he immediately jumped back into composition mode, skipping his usual dinner routine in favour of booking one of the university's practice rooms so he could work with a real piano for a couple of hours. When he arrived home, Wooyoung and San were studying in the living room and he greeted them distractedly before hiding in his room once more. 

On Wednesday morning, Hongjoong woke up twenty minutes before his Arithmancy tutorial was due to start and he guiltily pulled up his messenger conversation with Seonghwa, hating himself the whole time. 

Me [9.37am]

_Hey, I'm so sorry I stayed up way too late and have a killer headache this morning :( see you later this week?_

Hwa [9.38am]

_Aw Joong! You should take better care of yourself :( rest well and drink lots!_

Hwa [9.38am]

_I'll copy my notes for you, don't worry ♡_

Me [9.40am]

_Thank you! You're the best!_

He allowed himself ten minutes of wallowing in bed before he dragged himself to the shower and stole one of Yunho's energy potions from the fridge. Then he got to work once more.

He didn't have any classes for the rest of the day so the only interruption he suffered was Mingi coming back from his coding lecture and forcing him to eat lunch at about 2pm, by which time he had a number of promising drafts and most of a demo track. The drafts were a little melancholy in nature and he already half hated the demo, but it was something. He got really stuck on it in the evening, which put him in a foul mood, and the sound of four other people coming home and engaging in various loud and useless activities like showering and laughing and breathing made him even more irate. He made it known with increasingly frequent rattling of his chair between laptop and keyboard, with the occasional swear word or inarticulate sound of rage thrown in. This method usually had a fifty-fifty chance of warding off younger housemates who might think about asking him to leave his room for dinner. He had just deleted another four elements from his music file with a colorful chain of expletives when his door swung open without even so much as a knock. He whirled around on his chair, teeth bared.

"I swear to fuck, if you - oh," he cut off, deflating slightly, "How's it going, Jongho?" 

The youngest raised an eyebrow at him, fully aware of his own power. 

"Not well, apparently," he said. "Hongjoong, we made fish. Please come and have some."

"You mean _you_ made fish, and bullied the others into cleaning up the kitchen," Hongjoong corrected, saving his work. There was no point arguing with Jongho. He'd been carried through the apartment against his will enough times that his dignity had taken a hit. 

"Same difference," Jongho said, shrugging. He was still wearing his gym clothes and Hongjoong belatedly realised he wasn't supposed to be coming over today. Jongho explained before he could even ask. "Mingi called me and said you were throwing a tantrum. What are they supposed to do when their only responsible adult isn't being an adult?"

He left the room and Hongjoong followed, spluttering.

"It's not a _tantrum_ ," he said defensively, "I'm working." 

In the common area, San and Wooyoung were sitting at the table like normal people whilst Mingi and Yunho were kneeling dejectedly on the floor, occasionally reaching up to the table to steal side dishes. San took a piece of kimchi right from Yunho's chopsticks and ignored the complaint that followed. 

"Tall people who make short jokes lose privileges," he announced, "Hongjoong, you can have one of the chairs." 

Everyone turned to watch as Hongjoong sat down between San and Wooyoung and he glared suspiciously at them. 

"Is this an intervention?" he demanded. "Because if it is, I'm taking my fish to my room." 

"Definitely _not_ an intervention," Wooyoung reassured, voice slightly strained. "The fish is also not drugged. In case that was your next question." 

"... It wasn't," Hongjoong said, eyeing the fish suspiciously. Jongho smacked Wooyoung and started eating, which seemed a good indicator of food safety, but Hongjoong swapped his portion with San's, just in case. After approximately three minutes of awkward silence and seeing Yunho and Mingi bob up like jack-in-a-boxes to look at him concernedly, Hongjoong broke.

"Oh my god. Sit at the table, you idiots, and just do the intervention now."

"You can't overwork yourself because you want to ignore your feelings," Jongho said shortly, stacking three pieces of fish so that he could put them all in his mouth at once. San was watching him with an expression caught somewhere between awe and disgust. Hongjoong sympathised intensely.

"I think you should just bang Seonghwa," Wooyoung said, eyes widening when Hongjoong snapped around to look at him, "I mean, maybe. If you thought that was a good idea," he added, a little high-pitched.

"All in favour, say aye!" San commanded. There was a chorus of ayes and Hongjoong looked pointedly to Jongho, outraged. 

"As much as it honestly pains me to admit this," Jongho said around a mouthful of rice, "I think they're sort of right. Why are you making yourself and Seonghwa miserable right now when he might never even meet his soulmate? Even if you only get a year with him, isn't that better than nothing? Most people enter relationships not knowing whether they'll last a few months or forty years. Your case isn't that different."

Hongjoong remained silent for a few moments, thinking it over. It was something that had occurred to him over the last few days, despite doing his best not to think about it. 

"... alright," he allowed, "I _might_ consider _maybe_ thinking about it but that does _not_ mean I'm taking Wooyoung's suggestion or that you can start voting on my sex life." 

"All in favour of a democratic voting system on Hongjoong's sex life say aye!" Mingi chimed immediately. 

Hongjoong thought that hexing him with sand in his underwear was a reasonable and measured reaction, and completely worth using up some of his limited supply of sea water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want a Jongho in my life tbh


	4. Yarrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but fluffy!  
> Enjoy!

Thursday passed quickly, in the way that all assignment deadline days do, in a whirl of coffee and computer screens. After submitting his file, Hongjoong dragged himself to the store and worked his shift on autopilot, letting Yuqi's animated gossip roll over him as he second guessed his assignment. They were nearly overwhelmed in the last half hour by a gaggle of teenagers who came in to find outfits for a party and messed up most of the displays in the process. Hongjoong was run ragged refolding clothes and getting the store ready for closing whilst Yuqi gritted her teeth and brought shirt after shirt to the fitting rooms. By the time they'd managed to chase the last of them out, it was ten minutes past closing and Hongjoong was dead on his feet. Yuqi sprinted for her bus as soon as they closed the door and Hongjoong grumbled to himself as he activated the security charms, lazily relying on his seaglass token so he didn't have to concentrate. It was an unusually cold night and his fingers were already numb, causing him to fumble the keys more than once. His sour mood evolved into irrational anger and he swore irritably as he realised he was trying to fit the back door keys into the front door. He was so focussed on his rage at the bunch of keys that he nearly had a heart attack when someone spoke from right behind him.

"Late tonight."

He whirled around, clutching his chest.

"Jesus Christ, you scared me," he accused breathlessly. Seonghwa laughed, bowing apologetically with his hand on the brim of his hat. 

"Sorry, sorry! I assumed you'd know I was coming," he said. 

"I forgot," Hongjoong mumbled defensively, but he couldn't fight his own smile. He finally finished locking the door and slung his bag over his shoulder, taking in Seonghwa's outfit for the first time. He was dressed very… witchily, all in black, with a decorative collar on his shirt, a wide brimmed hat and the most elaborate jacket Hongjoong had ever seen. It was long and tailored, coming down to rest below Seonghwa's hips, with a series of tiny pockets above the hem. It was made from heavy black velvet, but there was so much intricate beadwork and embroidery that only parts of the fabric were visible. The rest was covered with little stitched patches of black silk and chiffon, tiny symbols and birds crafted meticulously from ebony thread. The only other colour on the coat came from the ring of pea-sized silver bells dangling from each sleeve cuff.

Wearing it, Seonghwa looked every inch a powerful witch-prince, fine and elegant and brimming with wild magic. Hongjoong swallowed, hard. 

"You look… nice?" he managed, hoping he didn't sound as affected as he felt. 

Seonghwa ducked his head shyly.

"I just came from my cousin's thirteenth birthday dinner," he explained as they started walking, "My family is very into the magic coming of age thing. I know I look a bit over-the-top." 

"Trust me, Hwa, you look amazing," Hongjoong reassured him, too earnestly. They caught each other's eyes and both looked away, a little embarrassed. Seonghwa's confession loomed heavily over Hongjoong's mind and he was sure Seonghwa was thinking about it too. The silence stretched on as they approached the park and Hongjoong considered just sprinting away to throw himself into the river. Luckily, Seonghwa broke first.

"Good day at work?" he prompted. 

Hongjoong internally breathed a sigh of relief as they fell into their usual rhythm and he detailed all the ways in which his shift had been horrendous and Seonghwa laughed at his theatrics. 

Then Hongjoong made the mistake of looking up at Seonghwa as they wandered through the trees, and his heart stuttered in its rhythm.

He was so ethereal, the artificial yellow light of the streetlamps kissing the curves of his cheekbones and the tip of his nose. Hongjoong envied the light, wanted to touch Seonghwa in the same easy way, wanted to illuminate him so that everyone could see how incredible he was. It was so effortless to bring music to mind as he stared, lyrics darting by in sweet little fragments as potential melodies bloomed and burst like soap bubbles. Somehow, his mouth moved without his permission and he interrupted Seonghwa's story without thinking.

"Can we talk about your question this weekend?" he blurted, then immediately covered his mouth. 

Seonghwa tilted his head, confused. 

"My… question? Oh, my question!" he realised out loud, face colouring to match Hongjoong's own blush. "Yeah, of course. You want to meet at the matcha café?"

"Okay," Hongjoong agreed, keeping his eyes firmly on the concrete ground ahead of him. 

"Sunday?" 

"Okay. Eleven?"

"Okay then." 

There were a few moments of silence as they arrived at Hongjoong's building and Seonghwa paused at the bottom of the stairs, whilst Hongjoong hopped up one step, as usual. 

"So… you're still coming tomorrow for dinner?" Hongjoong checked, fiddling with his sleeve. 

"Yes, and then I'll meet you on Sunday morning," Seonghwa confirmed. Then he smiled, and Hongjoong threw his brain away for a moment as he leaned forward and kissed Seonghwa's cheek. 

"Okayseeyoutomorrowthanksgoodbye!" he squeaked, and then retreated into his apartment block at double speed. 

"Goodbye!" Seonghwa called after him, sounding amused.

Buzzing with adrenaline and something else he wasn't ready to acknowledge, Hongjoong let himself into the apartment and vibrated on into the kitchen, setting up the rice cooker with shaky hands and a dumb smile on his face. Now that he'd made the decision to just let himself be happy, even if it was short term, his feelings seemed to have taken it as permission to smother him and he had a stupid urge to jump up and down or kiss something (someone) or sing. 

His good mood continued into the following morning and he practically bounced over to the practice rooms, fully intending to channel his energy into a piano for a few hours before he went to buy ingredients for dinner. Even his signature short temper seemed to have reigned itself in, not even flaring up when the person booked in the room before him was ten minutes late to finish and rushed out so carelessly that they knocked Hongjoong's coffee flying.

"Oh  _ fuck _ , I am so sorry, oh my god," the guy rambled, dropping a hefty stack of sheet music so that he could help Hongjoong disentangle himself from his coffee-soaked hoodie. 

"It's okay, it was an accident," Hongjoong reassured, accepting a wad of eucalyptus scented tissues to dry off his arms. He recognised his attacker, he realised. It was  _ that _ TA from the first year Musicianship courses. The one who was some kind of piano prodigy and was so ridiculously beautiful that it was practically mandatory to have a crush on him. The one whose name had disappeared into a void in Hongjoong's memory, never to be seen again. It was probably okay, though, because Hongjoong was one of a thousand students and there was no way -

"It's Hongjoong, right?" The TA asked, smiling. God, but he was pretty. He wasn't even dressed up, just wearing plain old jeans, a grey coat and a beanie, but he somehow seemed leagues more sophisticated than Hongjoong. He imagined this was what talking to a famous person might be like, kind of exciting but mostly excruciating. He also realised he was taking too long to answer. 

"Uh - yeah, that's me, I don't? I'm surprised you remember me, sorry," he stammered, fidgeting with the tissues.

The TA's smile turned a little shy and he ducked his head, shiny dark hair fluttering over his face.

"Oh, I follow you on instagram," he admitted. "Only when you'd left my TA classes, of course! I really loved some of your original songs and your fashion design stuff, too. I hope that's not too weird." 

"Not at all!" Hongjoong said hastily, "I just feel bad because I never pay attention to my social media so I hadn't noticed. And - God, I'm really sorry, I'm the worst person - I am having trouble remembering your name." 

"Ah - It's Youngjo."

"Of course! I did know it, I promise. It was on the tip of my tongue."

"Hmm, I'll let you off because you're cute," Youngjo teased, apparently gaining confidence from Hongjoong's awkwardness. "Even if you're a little slow in the morning."

"I haven't had coffee yet!" Hongjoong defended. Youngjo glanced at the mostly empty cup in his hands and pouted.

"Okay, that's on me. I have to go to a seminar right now, but give me your number and I'll make it up to you next week, alright?" He said it with such easy confidence that Hongjoong just got swept along and before he knew it, Youngjo was taking a selfie for his contact picture and sending a text to his own phone so that he would have Hongjoong's number. It was only when he'd darted away, calling back apologies and promises, that Hongjoong realised he probably shouldn't have agreed to what might be a date when he was planning to confess to someone else on Sunday. 

"Fuck," he mumbled, looking down at his screen. Youngjo had saved his own name with a heart emoji and the text to his number read 'from cute strawberry joong!'

"Fuck," Hongjoong said again, then resolved to text Youngjo after Sunday to clear things up. At the very least, he had a feeling that the older man wouldn't be short of admirers and so hopefully wouldn't be too put out. For the moment, he put it out of his mind in favour of catching up on coursework so that he would have a free weekend.

Having Seonghwa over for dinner was… an experience. Yeosang had declined the invitation, explaining that he had a coding group assignment due and that consequently, he was planning several murders. Hongjoong understood completely and offered to help with the bodies if he needed it. Meanwhile Jongho, his usual co-pilot for sanity airlines, had decided to abandon Hongjoong and join the dark side. The dark side consisted of San, Wooyoung, Yunho and Mingi and their main objective was to make as many suggestive facial expressions and gestures as they could behind Seonghwa's back. Mingi also took advantage of having a neutral witness present to make fun of Hongjoong's small hands. Despite the blatant disrespect, Hongjoong was quietly relieved at how well the evening went. His housemates genuinely seemed to adore Seonghwa (understandable) and in return, Seonghwa hadn't been scared off by Wooyoung's dolphin cackle or Jongho's bizarre version of a shovel talk, which involved a fruit-murdering display of his ability to protect Hongjoong. At the end of the night, Hongjoong walked him down to the building exit, chest feeling full to bursting. 

"Thanks for coming," he said, "I hope they weren't too weird."

"If you're asking whether I noticed Yunho making dick-sucking gestures at Wooyoung then I'm afraid the answer is yes." 

Hongjoong pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Oh my god." 

Seonghwa laughed.

"Joong, I've spent time with San," he pointed out, "It would take more than that to throw me off. Still on for Sunday?" 

Hongjoong hesitated, part of him longing to just throw caution to the wind and confess right now, in the dusty old lobby of his apartment block where anyone could walk in and see. Really, though, he knew they needed to sit down somewhere neutral and talk with clear heads. He needed to explain his parents' experience and set some ground rules. 

"Still on for Sunday," he echoed, smiling. He couldn't muster up enough courage for a second kiss, so their goodbye was short, though he did linger at the door a little longer than usual to watch Seonghwa's figure disappear into the night.


	5. Pennyroyal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Throws chapter into the void  
> p.s. can you tell I've worked in retail

"But I bought it here on Wednesday. It says here you have a seven day exchange policy." 

Hongjoong kept his face tightly arranged into a customer service smile, despite the unpleasant scowl sported by the man before him. The item in question was a portable phone charger accessory, stocked in about a hundred other chains and individual stores in the city.

"I'm sorry, sir, but the policy does also say that we require proof of purchase to put through a refund. I can't actually-"

"- do you think I'm lying?" The customer demanded. Red flags pinged through Hongjoong's brain. 

"No, of course not, sir, I absolutely believe you. I just physically cannot process a refund without inputting -" 

" - then just give it to me in cash, I don't care." 

"I'm not authorised to -" 

"- you're not authorised to do much, are you?"

Hongjoong reeled at the aggressive tone, unsure how to respond without igniting the situation further. The customer seemed to take his silence as some kind of victory, smugness bleeding into his expression.

"I want to talk to your manager," the man demanded. Hongjoong forcibly shoved down the rage crawling up his throat at the rude tone, smiling so falsely that his cheeks hurt.

"Sure thing," he said sweetly, ducking out from behind the counter. Once he was facing away from the guy, he rolled his eyes so hard he saw stars. Felix was already busy with another customer and didn't really have the aggression to match this guy anyway. Yuqi was out at the bank to get change. That left Soyeon, who was tucked away in the break room, eating spicy seaweed snacks. 

"Congratulations, you've been promoted," Hongjoong hissed.

Soyeon glared at him.

"I am _eating_ ," she whisper-shouted, point reinforced by her mouthful of seaweed. 

"There's a dickhead out here wanting to speak to the manager. Wants a refund, no receipt. Apparently gets a hard on from treating service people like trash." 

As he spoke, he watched Soyeon's disgruntlement evolve into mild fury. Her sense of righteous justice when it came to protecting minimum wage workers was so powerful that it was kind of impressive to behold. She swallowed her seaweed and then whipped her platinum hair back into a neat bun, before shrugging on her black blazer and pinning the falsified 'Soyeon - Supervisor' badge that Hongjoong had made to her lapel. There were two more in the back of the top locker that had Hongjoong's and Yuqi's names on them, plus a fourth one they'd made that said 'Wooseok - Tall Bitch' with an angry face underneath. All but the last one had a power sigil scratched into the plastic and Hongjoong leaned in with a seashell in his hand to activate Soyeon's, the faint scent of salt and burnt plastic emanating from the pin as it glowed into life.

"Nice. You hide in here whilst I deal with him," Soyeon instructed, "but don't you dare steal any seaweed." 

Hongjoong was not stupid enough to take his chances with the snacks, so he checked his phone notifications instead and found he had three unread messages from Seonghwa. 

Hwa [10.13am]

_Hey are you home this morning?_

Hwa [10.14am]

_I left my div textbooks at your place and I need to study for my exam :(_

Hwa [10.42am]

_Jooooooooooooooooong_

Me [11.04am]

_I'm working til 3, sorry :( Mingi or San might be home_

Me [11.04am]

_If they're out you can just use the spare key_

Me [11.05am] 

_Talk to San's prayer plant in the window tray, you just have to tell it "shiber cutest" and touch the curled up leaf and it will give you the key_

Hwa [11.05am]

_!!!!!!!!!!!_

Hwa [11.05am]

_Don't just give out your key like that!_

_It's not safe!_

Me [11.06am]

_?????? Are you planning to rob us or?_

Hwa [11.06am]

_Yes_

Hwa [11.06am]

_I'm on my way to steal your laptop now_

Me [11.06am]

_:((((((((((_

Hongjoong sent off the message but he didn't have the chance to check for a response as Soyeon bustled back into the break room and kicked him back out to do sale set up. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket a few times as he was working, but there were too many people about for him to look at it. He hoped that Seonghwa hadn't tried to talk to the jester plant instead. Would Seonghwa know how to recognise a prayer plant? Maybe he should have warned him about that. When he finally got to take a break at one, he had five messages from Seonghwa, three from Mingi and one from Yeosang. 

Hwa [11.52am]

_Ah Mingi is home!_

Hwa [12.04pm]

_I'm making lunch for Mingi?_

Hwa [12.04pm]

_I said I was leaving and he did this thing_

_(◕︿◕) and suddenly I offered to make lunch?_

Hwa [12.05pm]

_Is this how you adopted Mingi?_

Hwa [12.06pm]

_I get to meet Yeosang!_

BFG [12.32pm]

_ok jsyk nobody is hurt or anything so_

_theres NO NEED to worry_

BFG [12.32pm]

_but fyi i told Seonghwa not to text u until u talked to Yeosang so dont text him_

BFG [12.32pm]

_please dont stress well explain everything when u finish work DONT WORRY_

Prince Yeosang [12.41pm]

_Hey Hongjoong, can we talk at your place when you finish work?_

  
  


Despite Mingi's assurances that nobody was hurt, Hongjoong felt anxiety crawl into his brain, providing irrational images of broken bones and fire damage and crying. He quickly called Mingi and was pleasantly surprised when the younger man actually picked up.

"Hey, did you finish work?" 

"Uh- no, not til 3 but Mingi, seriously. I'm going to stress until I finish anyway. You might as well tell me what I'm stressing about," Hongjoong pointed out truthfully.

"Ah, Jesus," Mingi said tightly. "Just don't freak out, okay? I'm sure you guys can work it out." 

"Work _what_ out?"

"Seonghwa and Yeosang are soulmates." 

Hongjoong distantly registered the feeling of his ribs caving in like matter pulled into a sinkhole. His face was a little numb and it felt like six layers of reinforced steel had just sprung up between his feelings and his brain. 

"Oh, okay. Jesus, Mingi. I thought you were going to tell me they were from rival family cults or something," he replied, his voice so calm it kind of scared him.

"I thought you'd be… upset?" Mingi asked tentatively.

"Well yeah, I'm disappointed," Hongjoong said, still eerily placid, "but they're soulmates. It's just how it is. Honestly, it's kind of a relief because I don't have to agonise over whether or not to date Hwa, you know? I can just move on."

_Lies._

"Listen, I've got to go back out, but make sure Yeosang doesn't stress, okay?"

"Okay Joong. Sure you're alright?" 

"Yeah, I'm great, don't worry."

_Lies lies lies._

"... okay then. See you at three." 

Hongjoong hung up and stared at his blank phone screen for a few moments. Nothing felt real. Those walls of steel still stood between his functioning, rational brain and the vast pool of hurt and frustration that had welled up somewhere around his sternum. Mechanically, he put his phone back into his pocket and sat down at the break room table, slumping forward to rest his chin on his hands. He knew the numbness wouldn't last. He knew if he tried to comfort himself, or if anyone offered him sympathy, that those sheets of protective metal would fold like wet paper and he'd be spiralling in the flood water for days. 

The problem was that if he let that happen, Seonghwa and Yeosang would be eaten up by that same guilt Hongjoong had witnessed his parents succumb to for two and a half years. Neither of them deserved that. Yeosang might be all cool and disinterested at first glance, but Hongjoong saw how deeply he cared for those around him, how wholly he gave up his heart once he considered someone a friend. Seonghwa was just as lovely. A part of Hongjoong wanted to be mad at Seonghwa for giving him false hope, but he knew that was stupid. Like Jongho said, they might have had thirty years of happiness before Seonghwa met his soulmate; there was no way he could have guessed Yeosang was right around the corner. Hell, Hongjoong hadn't even known that Yeosang had a mark. 

The only rational conclusion was that Hongjoong would just have to keep his feelings to himself until he got over it. Fortunately, several years of high school bullying and domestic conflict had made him a bonafide expert in pretending he didn't care. Funnily enough, it helped that he was so easy to read when he was angry, or happy, or hopelessly in love, because people seemed to think that it would be equally obvious when he was hurting. Hongjoong was going to get through this, and nobody was going to be any the wiser. With that thought in mind, he sent a message to Yeosang asking what snacks to buy him and headed back out to continue his shift. 

  
  


"I'm really sorry," Yeosang rushed out in lieu of a greeting, "I'm really, really sorry and I swear I didn't know. I wouldn't have come over if I knew Seonghwa was here." 

He looked wrung out and exhausted, eyes red-rimmed and mouth pressed into a thin, nervous line. His grey t-shirt was crumpled at the hem where he'd been worrying at it with his hands.

Hongjoong was frozen just inside the doorway, shoes half kicked off and arms full of convenience store snacks. There was an unusual silence from the rest of the apartment and whilst he was glad Mingi had the good sense to kick everyone out whilst they talked, he felt bad that Yeosang had been here crying on his own. He had suspected Yeosang might feel bad about the whole thing, but not _this_ bad.

"Alright, let's just chill out for a second," Hongjoong suggested. "I'm not mad at you or anything, Sang, but just let me put everything down and make tea and then we'll talk properly in the living room, 'kay?" 

"Okay," Yeosang agreed, a little confusedly. He helped to juggle some snacks and Hongjoong followed him into the kitchen. There was a bowl of uncooked rice on the counter, standing like a solemn testament to the interruption of everyone's normal day. He ignored the rice and put some water on to boil instead. Making tea together had a kind of soothing rhythm to it and he even managed to coax a quiet giggle from Yeosang as he explained Jongho's fascination with useless glamour spells. 

"Maybe I should make him a pair of colour-shifting earphones for his birthday," he pondered. Hongjoong tilted his head, curious.

"You can work spells into electronics? Isn't that really hard?" 

Yeosang's cheeks tinted pink.

"Oh, I'm a type of storm witch, so it's easier for me. Lightning magic is pretty mathematical for a nature source, so it kind of lends itself to coding and technology. Fractals, you know?" 

"That is so freaking cool," Hongjoong said honestly as they migrated to the sofa. "You'll have to show me some of your stuff some time. Always a hoe for weird magical theory."

Yeosang giggled again, but he was already winding himself back up in anticipation, fingers wrapped tightly around his mug. Hongjoong took pity on him and started the discussion without preamble.

"Alright, so you and Seonghwa are soulmates?" 

"Yes," Yeosang agreed nervously. Hongjoong watched the painfully relatable process of taking a mouthful of tea, realising it was too hot and hastily spitting it back out. He was very aware that he himself had done equally gross and awkward things when nervous and so gracefully pretended not to notice.

"And you're afraid I'll be upset with you because I have a crush on him?" he continued. 

A nod.

"And you feel guilty because I'll be upset and you think you're somehow the cause?"

Another nod. 

Hongjoong swept his legs up to sit cross legged, turning to face Yeosang.

"This is how I see it. Firstly, don't ever feel bad about meeting Seonghwa, please. You're going to love him because he's a great person and he's gonna love you because so are you. It would be a waste - no, it would be a _crime_ for you not to meet Seonghwa." 

"But -" 

"- Ah ah! Not finished. I'm put out, okay? I can't date the guy I liked, and that always sucks," Hongjoong reeled off, well rehearsed. "But you know who else I haven't dated?" 

Yeosang shook his head, brows furrowed in confusion. 

"My coworker Soyeon. When I first started working at the shop, I was _gone_ for her. I seriously thought I would die if I didn't get to kiss her. I asked her out, it turned out she's a lesbian, and it kind of broke my heart and humiliated me at the same time." 

"What happened?" Yeosang asked tentatively. Hongjoong laughed.

"She bought me consolation dumplings and told me I was dumb. Then when we all went out at the end of the semester, she made us play a drinking game where everyone took a shot when I didn't realise someone was flirting with me. Long story short, we all got extremely drunk, I accidentally came out as bisexual and she confessed her embarrassing die hard crush on our retail manager. Then Yuqi cried because she was too short to braid Wooseok's hair and Wooseok cried because he felt bad about Yuqi crying and then we all went back to Felix's dorm and played Mario Kart. Everything was a lot less awkward after that." 

Yeosandg blinked at him and Hongjoong could practically hear the cogs turning.

"So you're saying... we should all get drunk and talk about our feelings?" he suggested.

"What? No!" Hongjoong said hastily. "I'm saying that sometimes things just aren't meant to work out and it's nobody's fault. I'll be disappointed about Seonghwa for a little while, but we'll still wind up as friends, and someone else will probably come along."

Yeosang nodded, seemingly reassured. Then he opened his mouth and hesitated, eyes flicking away from Hongjoong's face. Hongjoong bumped their knees together gently.

"Hey, what's up?" 

"It's stupid." 

"Think about who I live with. I've heard stupider." 

Yeosang huffed a laugh.

"Fair point. I don't know, it seems ungrateful but… I'm kind of jealous you have that freedom, you know? Like if something doesn't work out, you can just move on, hope to find something new. Having a soulmate sometimes feels like a lot of responsibility," he said. His eyes hesitantly rose up to Hongjoong, dark and brimming with doubt. "If I fuck it up, then I've fucked up for good, you know? What if I'm not enough for him?" 

Hongjoong almost wanted to laugh at how similar they seemed to be in that regard. Maybe the similarities between Yeosang and Hongjoong had been what drew Seonghwa to the latter in the first place. _Placeholder_ , Yeosang had called him. The irony was bitter in Hongjoong's throat. But Yeosang was hurting, and Hongjoong was stronger than that.

"I know it's scary, but trust me when I say that you won't fuck anything up for good, okay?" he reassured. "You might fuck up a few times, or twenty times, or a hundred. Seonghwa will probably fuck up too. Being soulmates doesn't mean everything will be easy and perfect, but it's gotta mean something. You'll always be able to work it out, yeah?" 

"Yeah," Yeosang parroted, giving a smile that was closer to his usual one. Hongjoong couldn't help but ask something that was bothering him. 

"How come you never mentioned you had a soulmate mark? If it's okay to ask," he tacked on, just in case.

"Ah, everyone just wants to see it when I mention it," Yeosang said, a little embarrassed. Hongjoong couldn't resist the opportunity to tease. 

"Is it on your butt?" he asked, "Is it somewhere worse?" 

"No!" Yeosang laughed, smacking him in the chest, "It's on my face, you idiot." 

Hongjoong blinked, then moved right in to inspect Yeosang's nose, looking for a teeny tiny birthmark. Yeosang shoved him away, still laughing. 

"Here," he said, using his sleeve to scrub at his cheek. Hongjoong saw little glittering fragments of a glamour fall away and Yeosang's eyes briefly flashed blue as the spell deactivated completely. When he moved his hand away, there was a pink, silvery mark right on his cheekbone, not like any soulmark Hongjoong had seen before. 

"It's a birthmark _and_ a soulmark," Yeosang explained. "I hate it." 

"What? Why?" Hongjoong protested. "It's so pretty! If I looked like you, I wouldn't cover anything up," he said honestly. Yeosang squirmed, looking down at his own hands.

"Shut up," he mumbled.

"I mean it," Hongjoong declared. "You should try going without your glamour, at least at home."

"I don't wear the glamour at home," Yeosang said confusedly. 

"I meant here, you dork. Haven't you noticed that six people live here?" 

Yeosang practically lit up from the inside out and Hongjoong felt warmth pool in his own chest, pride and affection whirling in equal measures.

"Thanks, Hongjoong, you're the best. Mingi was right, you're so good at this stuff." 

"Damn right," Hongjoong lied proudly. "How long did he say he was banishing everyone for? Do you think we have time to secretly get chicken?"

Yeosang's smile turned devious.

"I have a coupon in my bag." 

He raced off to find it, quietly mimicking a Disney villain laugh, and Hongjoong knew the younger man was going to be alright. They were going to be happy together. The thought had his flood water rising dangerously and he shoved everything down as far as he could muster, blinking angrily to chase the tears away. This was for the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hurt myself writing this but it Had To Be Done


	6. Snapdragon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg I panic posted this 0.04 seconds before my sister broke into my apartment seeking cat litter and had to come back to add a note x....x  
> Hope you enjoy more suffering!

They were alerted to the arrival of Hongjoong's housemates by an enraged shriek as San opened the door and smelled food.

"You bitches!" he accused, bodily pulling Yeosang up from his seat at the table and doing some kind of martial arts throw that had him sprawled on the sofa, dazed. "Shiber, mjölnir." 

Yeosang yelped as the shiba inu launched himself onto his chest and became impossibly heavy, effectively pinning the man to the couch. 

"It - was - Hongjoong's - idea!" he wheezed, hopelessly trying to wriggle out from under the dog. 

"Traitor," Hongjoong grumbled, allowing San to take Yeosang's place at the table. 

"Is that chicken?" Mingi asked as he wandered into the room. 

"Why am  _ I  _ getting punished," Yeosang whined, flopping back onto the cushions in defeat.

"Because I've seen Hongjoong pull off more hexes in the past two years than most witches learn in a lifetime," San said. "And contrary to popular belief, I'm not that stupid." 

Hongjoong shot him a wicked grin.

"Wise choice." 

Eventually, Yeosang managed to trick Shiber into letting him up by massaging behind his ears, turning him into a blissed-out pool of fur, until he rolled off sideways and Yeosang triumphantly leapt to his feet. He flinched and held his fists up when San moved threateningly towards him, but San just tutted and looked over at his partially-conscious familiar.

"What have you done to him? He's useless," he complained, kneeling down to rub Shiber's tummy. "You're the worst attack dog ever," he cooed, dodging a lick to his face. "Who's the worst attack dog, hmm? You are!"

Hongjoong watched the exchange with equal measures of fondness and disgust. When he turned back, Yeosang had somehow silently pilfered three pieces of chicken wrapped in a napkin and was jamming his feet into his battered sneakers.

"Gotta go meet Yeonjun," he said by way of explanation. He had crumbs on the side of his mouth and Hongjoong rolled his eyes as he yanked him closer by the sleeve and used a napkin to clean his face like a kid's. 

"You're so messy," he complained, but he couldn't help his smile. 

Yeosang obediently held still to have his mouth wiped and then ducked forward to give Hongjoong a tight hug, squeezing all the air from the shorter man's lungs.

"Thanks again, Joongie," he murmured into Hongjoong's hoodie. 

"No problem," Hongjoong wheezed, smacking at his elbows. Yeosang released him and dodged the hand that shot out to cuff his head as Hongjoong gulped in air and massaged his ribs. 

"See you later, losers," Yeosang called, then the door closed behind him and there was relative peace. 

_ One down _ , Hongjoong thought,  _ one to go. _

He retreated to his room to avoid any potential questions from San and Mingi, ignoring their scuffle on the living room carpet as he went past. San's high pitch yelps faded out as he closed the door and stared at his phone.

Seonghwa was going to be tricky, he knew. For starters, lunar witches were known to be emotionally intuitive. Then there was the fact that Seonghwa majored in divination. But the kicker was that Seonghwa just cared  _ so much _ , enough that it made Hongjoong's chest hurt to think about; enough that he would probably put aside his own feelings to make Hongjoong happy. The only way to resolve this situation would be to end it quickly and firmly, like ripping off a bandaid. With that in mind, he unlocked his phone and opened his chat with Seonghwa.

Me [6.13pm] 

_ Still on for tomorrow?  _

Me [6.13pm] 

_ I figured it would be easier to talk in person? _

Hwa [6.13pm]

_ Yes! _

Hwa [6.13pm]

_ Yes, I think you're right. _

_ Are you doing okay? _

Me [6.14pm] 

_ Yeah, I'm good!  _

Me [6.14pm]

_ Just about to punish the kids bc I can hear them wrestling for the last piece of chicken _

Hwa [6.14pm]

_ Wrestling? Is that so bad? _

Me [6.15pm] 

_ Wrestling has been a prohibited activity since San cheated using creeper vines and nearly choked out Mingi _

Hwa [6.15pm]

_ … I see. _

Hongjoong left it at that, turning his attention back to the mopey demo he hadn't touched since his last Seonghwa-related emotional crisis. He slipped on his headphones and lost himself in beats and notes and dynamics until it all started to sound like beautiful nonsense and he couldn't remember what he'd started out trying to make. When his eyes started to feel like he'd rubbed sand in them, he glanced at the time and sighed when he saw that it was past 3am. With a quiet groan, he shifted from his computer chair and shuffled into the bathroom, pinching some of Wooyoung's luxurious under-eye cream in the hope that he would look at least partially human in the morning. At the very least, he had the mercy of being emotionally drained enough that he fell asleep almost immediately, with one of San's plushies crushed to his chest. 

He woke up with the screeching of his alarm at 9.30, which would give him enough time to apply concealer, lock his emotions in a thought-proof box and walk to the matcha café. Step one did not go smoothly because he was out of practice with makeup and fucking around trying to blend the concealer took far longer than he'd anticipated. The end result was pretty perfect, but a buzz of anxiety went through him when he looked down and realised it was already five to ten. To aid with step two, he guiltily borrowed (stole) one of Yunho's concentration tonics, downing the soapy-tasting vial in one go. It would help him rationalise his decisions and explain to Seonghwa, he reasoned. The side effect of reduced emotional responses was just a convenient bonus. He wasted another five minutes failing to find a clean hoodie and just gave up, hoping that his long sleeved t-shirt would be enough to keep out the chill. As he was checking the time again, he noticed that he had an unopened message from earlier and his heart lurched, wondering if Seonghwa had cancelled their meeting. That was not the case.

Youngjo ♡ [8.08am] 

_ let's talk about that coffee I owe you _

"Ah, fuck," he muttered as he shoved his headphones around his neck. He decided that Youngjo could wait until he'd dealt with Seonghwa. Maybe even until tomorrow, so he didn't have to awkwardly reject two people on the same goddamn day. 

It was deadly cold even in their hallway, so he quietly knocked on Mingi's door, intending to borrow something warm.

"Come in," Mingi called groggily. Hongjoong huffed out a laugh at the sight of Mingi squashed up against the wall like a string bean whilst San and Shiber curled around pillows, taking up most of the bed. Then he zeroed in on a basket of clean laundry - that had now been there for almost a week, Mingi, for fuck's sake - and grabbed a yellow sweater that probably clashed horribly with his hair. He retreated to the hallway to wriggle into it, then rolled the sleeves up, shrugged his backpack on and ventured out into the cold.

When he arrived at the matcha café, feeling very windswept and a little frostbitten, Seonghwa was already set up in a booth with two steaming mugs in front of him, the table covered in textbooks and pens. He was wearing a simple black turtleneck that still managed to make him look devastating and he had obviously taken time getting ready judging by his subtle eyeliner and the small earrings dangling prettily on each side. Hongjoong imagined his own smudgy, bed-headed appearance and pouted. 

When he sat down, Seonghwa smiled and slid one of the mugs over, revealing a dainty flower-shaped cookie resting on the saucer.

"Good morning," he said. "You look very cute. Is that Yunho's sweater?"

"Um, Mingi's," Hongjoong croaked, ignoring the muted ping of happiness at the compliment. "Have you been waiting long?" 

"No, I came here early to study but I ordered late so the drinks only just arrived." 

"Ah, good, good." 

The silence between them was unfamiliar and awkward and Hongjoong hated it. He opened his mouth to say something - anything - but Seonghwa got there first. 

"Are you okay? Mingi seemed to think you'd be very upset and I could see why. I mean, we didn't even get the chance to talk about my soulmate." 

Hongjoong thanked himself for taking the initiative and drinking the concentration tonic. It made the vast pool of hurt and guilt and disappointment so much easier to push aside as he wrangled a smile onto his face.

"Mingi is a drama queen. I'm actually doing okay. I'm glad it happened before we actually started dating, you know? I think I would have been more upset if I was already stressed or run down. But I'm on top of my assignments and I've been really productive with my personal projects, so this is more of a bump than a mountain," he reeled off, casually waving his hand. Seonghwa's eyes followed the movement and he leaned back, his perfect smile retreating into that neutral expression he wore when he was thinking.

"... a bump? You're not upset? It's not too… complicated?" he asked hesitantly.

Hongjoong almost laughed. Complicated was one way to put it. He took a sip of his coffee instead.

"Seriously, Hwa. Don't worry about me. And by the way, you should ask Yeosang out on a date."

Seonghwa's neutral expression twisted into a confused frown.

"Ask him… That's what you... want? That's what he wants?"

Hongjoong's heart rate picked up a little at the question and he hastily tried to redirect the conversation, concentrating on breaking the flower cookie in half to avoid eye contact. 

"Yeah it is, but he's too nervous to ask you and he's going to stress himself out until you do. You've got to look after him, you know?" 

There was a pause and when he glanced up, Seonghwa looked - odd. Somewhere between confused, taken aback, and annoyed. 

"So you and I don't? Yeosang and I just - And you're just… okay with that?" he asked, his tone bordering on suspicious. It sparked a hint of irritation in Hongjoong. Why couldn't he just listen?

"Well, yeah," Hongjoong replied, keeping his voice even. "I love Yeosang. I want him to be happy." 

Seonghwa's eyes narrowed even further.

"What about you? You don't care if you're happy?" 

Hongjoong was getting a little ticked off at this point. What was he trying to insinuate? That Hongjoong didn't know what was best for himself? That Hongjoong couldn't be happy without a soulmate?

"Of course I care," he said, a little sharply. "I'll be happy, Hwa. Why are you so stuck on this? You've found your soulmate, I'm happy for you, I'm happy for him. What's the problem?"

Seonghwa looked surprised at the question and his eyebrows pulled up in the centre as though he was - sad? hurt? something else? 

"Well I just thought we - I thought today you…" he tailed off, his voice turning flat. "Well I guess that doesn't matter. It's just my runes. I thought my runes said that you liked me, but there was something holding you back. But the alternative interpretation was a warning that you'd sacrifice your own happiness for mine. I ignored it at the time but-"

"- oh come on, that's not how it is," Hongjoong said, rolling his eyes. Seonghwa shifted irritably, his earrings glinting in the grey late morning light.

"Then what is this other thing that would have been holding back your feelings?" He demanded. "Or your happiness? Huh?"

"I have a date with someone else," Hongjoong blurted angrily, then immediately regretted it.

For a brief moment, Seonghwa's face lit up in surprise, but he gracefully covered it, returning to his neutral thinking face. 

"Oh," he said quietly. "With, uh - with who?" 

"Kim Youngjo. From the Honours program," Hongjoong said, already feeling horrible for using Youngjo's name like this. "We met in the piano practice rooms and he asked me out. I hadn't been sure about saying yes until now." 

It might have just been a trick of the light, but for a moment he imagined that Seonghwa looked upset. Upset, or maybe something else. But then all traces of the emotion were gone, and Seonghwa's face was back in its usual contented state. 

"I see. Well that explains the runes, I guess," he commented listlessly.

"I guess." 

Both of them finished the last few mouthfuls of their drinks in a silence that Hongjoong optimistically decided was contemplative rather than awkward. Then Seonghwa smiled and started gathering his books and electronics, neatly ordering his notebooks and securing them together with a black elastic band. 

"I'm glad everything turned out okay," he said, eyes fixed on his task, "I really should go and study for this exam. Any tips on how to ask Yeosang out, though? You know him a lot better than me."

_ For now _ , Hongjoong thought, feeling as though he'd swallowed a shard of glass.

"Well, he likes tech stuff and skateboarding, but honestly I think he'll appreciate any time you spend together," he said honestly. "Just look after him and he'll love it."

That brought a genuine smile to Seonghwa's face. "I  _ am _ excellent at looking after people," he said smugly.

"I know, you're like a fussy grandma," Hongjoong complained, but he knew his smile gave him away. Seonghwa rolled his eyes.

"Oh yeah, like all your housemates don't follow you around like lost ducklings," he retorted. "I saw you patching up Wooyoung's tiny paper cut like it was a bullet wound."

"You shut up," Hongjoong told him hotly, "See you for class?" 

"See you for class!" Seonghwa echoed, standing up from his chair. "Have fun with - have fun on your date! Don't forget to eat when you're working on your project." 

He turned to wave one last time as he left the coffee shop and Hongjoong waited for the glass door to close behind him before he let out a kind of exhausted, frustrated growling noise. 

"Midterms?" 

He jumped at the voice behind him, but it was just a cheerful blonde waiter, sending him a sympathetic look as he leant down to clear their empty mugs.

"Something like that," Hongjoong agreed. His throat felt swollen and sore, his eyes hot and stinging, but he forced a deep breath in through his nose and exhaled for six counts, imagining a progression of six major chords. The feeling receded. Then he pulled out his phone and sent a text back to Youngjo.

Me [9.12am] 

_ I have Tuesday evening or Wednesday afternoon free?  _

Youngjo ♡ [9.14am] 

_ wednesday is great!  _

Youngjo ♡ [9.14am] 

_ i am running assignment help desk until 1 _

Youngjo ♡ [9.14am] 

_ bonsai at 1.30?  _

Me [9.15am] 

_ Bonsai?  _

Youngjo ♡ [9.15am] 

_?!?!?!?!? _

Youngjo ♡ [9.15am] 

_ u haven't been to bonsai brew?!? i am about to change your life  _

Hongjoong smiled at the message despite himself.

Me [9.16am] 

_ I'm excited (?) Do I need to dress nicely??  _

Youngjo ♡ [9.16am] 

_ don't worry, you look cute in anything ♡ _

Youngjo ♡ [9.16am] 

_ and it's mostly dying art majors in there so anything above pyjamas is high fashion tbh  _

__ Youngjo ♡ [9.17am] 

_ i srsly can't believe u haven't been. they play students music on their radio! you should submit sthg! did u ever finish that lights song? _

Hongjoong swallowed hard at the mention of that song. He would never admit it, and nobody would ever know, but those particular lyrics had been written with Seonghwa in mind, and had been left unfinished because… well. Because Seonghwa was out of reach. And now doubly so. 

Me [9.20am] 

_ Not that one, but I have others… if I work on them a little more I might be able to submit them. _

Youngjo ♡ [9.20am] 

_ still a perfectionist I see  _

Youngjo ♡ [9.20am]

_ i can't wait to hear them at the cafe. are you working on any music now? _

Keeping up a conversation with Youngjo was as easy as dreaming. He was funny, a shameless flirt, and just as passionate about music and art. If Hongjoong wasn't horribly in love with Seonghwa, they could probably date for real. But he was horribly in love with Seonghwa, and he doubted he would have gotten over it by Wednesday afternoon. Still, if he could make a friend out of Youngjo, it would be worth the awkward conversation about feelings. 

Once he got home, the others acted as though they were walking on eggshells, with the exception of Yunho, who had disappeared to places unknown earlier in the day. Wooyoung and San had set up camp to "study" at the dining table, though it seemed to involve a lot of giggling and sharing earphones. Mingi was making himself some abhorrent snack that involved mixing sliced cheese and seaweed topping into wok-ready noodles, and Jongho had taken over the couch with a bottle of blueberry soju beside him and a fancy looking tissue mask applied to his face. He had apparently submitted an assignment four seconds before the midnight deadline and needed to slow his heart back down to human speeds. 

They all very obviously shushed each other when particular topics like feelings or soulmates came up until Hongjoong couldn't take it anymore and told them about his date with Youngjo, brandishing his chat history as proof.

"Youngjo?  _ That _ Youngjo? Who everyone would kill for?" Mingi demanded, making a grab for Hongjoong's phone. Hongjoong shoved it down the front of his sweatshirt and then curled into a protective ball on the floor. 

"Yes, that Youngjo," he said, a bit smug. "He knocked my coffee out of my hands and then gave me his number. But somehow he managed to make it cool."

Wooyoung whistled. 

"That is some rom-com level shit. Way better than having someone show up at your workplace to stare creepily at you and vanish whenever you try to talk to them."

"Hey! It worked, didn't it?" San defended, looking up from his laptop.

"Only because Hongjoong threatened to turn your dick into a sea cucumber if you didn't grow a pair."

Hongjoong turned his attention away as they started to bicker. Mingi was kneeling on the floor, looking constipated. Jongho was half staring at him in pity and half concentrating on playing a music tile game on his phone. 

"I can't believe you have his number," Mingi said forlornly, "I have pined for so long and for what?" 

"Wait, what?" Hongjoong asked, alarmed. "You're in the engineering faculty, how do you know him?" 

"Mingi had -  _ has _ \- a huge hard on for Hwanwoong, who is the dance captain here," Jongho cut in.

"I do not -" 

"- don't even try; I've listened to you drunkenly thirst over his flexibility and how you want him to step on you," Jongho said flatly. 

Mingi huffed.

"The man can bend himself in half, okay? I'm not  _ blind _ ." 

"Anyway, Mingi's kinks aside, he found out that Hwanwoong was dating Youngjo and instead of being jealous or anything he just stalked Youngjo on social media and got a hard on for him too. So now he's sad that you got a date with Youngjo but…" 

"... Hwanwoong is probably single and I have a chance," Mingi declared, looking constipated once more.

"You'd have a chance if you actually  _ talked  _ to Woong instead of just watching his solo practices like a useless gay," Jongho said savagely, tapping very calmly at his phone. Mingi made a winded noise and collapsed to the ground. 

"Jesus," Hongjoong said, "Leave the man some dignity, Jongho." 

Jongho leveled him with a haunted expression. 

"You haven't had to hear the things I've heard about my dance teacher's ass," he said. Hongjoong nodded, accepting this. 

"Fair point." 

After ascertaining that he wasn't actually going to break Mingi's heart by going out with Youngjo, it was plain sailing. He managed very genuine excitement for Yeosang when he shyly announced that Seonghwa had asked him out for a movie and only wallowed in jealousy and guilt over the jealousy for an hour or two before he managed to sleep. He attended class with Seonghwa like it was nothing, ignoring all the aborted movements that they kept making when they almost held hands or bumped shoulders out of habit. He wrestled angrily with a creative block for a while, but forced himself to customise a pair of shoes he'd been saving to stop himself from spiralling into musical frustration. All in all, he thought he was doing the self-care in times of hardship thing very well.

The only spanner in the works was Yunho, who had known him for longer than the others and so was more suspicious of his lack of dramatic sulking and depression. On Wednesday morning, at about six, Hongjoong was rudely woken up by a large, lanky body wriggling into his blanket cocoon and bundling him up into a hug. 

"Joongie, are you awake?" Yunho stage whispered. Hongjoong slitted his eyes open to glare at him. 

"I am now," he grumbled.

"I just wanted to talk to you about Seonghwa," Yunho said.

"Wha?" Hongjoong asked, still half asleep. Then he remembered about Seonghwa and Yeosang and Youngjo and he fought to keep his face neutral. Judging by Yunho's teddy bear pout, he hadn't succeeded.

"I  _ knew _ you were upset about it," Yunho hissed. "What's going on, Joong?" 

Blinking his eyes open properly, Hongjoong noticed that Yunho looked considerably more put together than he should and smelled like toothpaste. "Wait, was this planned?" he demanded.

"Yes, I set an alarm" Yunho admitted, unashamed, "You're much less competent at hiding things when you've just woken up. Anyway, I noticed one of my no-feelings concentration tonics was missing. And Yeosang told me about your conversation."

"Oh no."

Hongjoong subtly tested the strength of the arms around him and Yunho rolled more of his weight onto Hongjoong's torso, making him wheeze.

"Oh yes. I can't believe you made out like Soyeon was your first love instead of a pretty girl you tried to kiss when you were drunk because she was the first witch to be nice to you after you left high school," Yunho complained. Hongjoong winced at how pathetic that sounded.

"Do you have to be so honest?" 

"Yes, seeing as you won't," Yunho said ruthlessly. "And what's with the date with Youngjo? Are you really going to lead him on like that?" 

"Of course not," Hongjoong scowled, wriggling again. "I'm going to tell him I'm flattered and had a nice time but I'm still getting over someone else and I'm not ready to date yet. I have a plan, duh."

"Right, so Yeosang and Seonghwa think you're all fine and moved on so they carry on happily whilst you suffer in silence?" Yunho outlined flatly. "Is that the plan?" 

"It sounds bad when you put it like that," Hongjoong grumbled. Yunho headbutted him gently on the chin.

"Because it  _ is  _ bad, Joong. You have to stop sacrificing what you want for other people's happiness. I admire your selflessness but there has to be a limit," he chided. Hongjoong huffed a sigh.

"They'll both feel guilty and I don't want that to mess up their relationship," he said. "It sucks right now, but it will suck less in the long term, for me as well."

Yunho heaved himself up into a sitting position and examined Hongjoong's face. 

"Don't you think they deserve to make their own choices about what to do in this situation?" Yunho asked.

"Don't  _ you _ think they'll both just do whatever they think won't upset me and make themselves unhappy in the process?" Hongjoong rebutted.

Yunho squinted at him, cheeks puffing out as he frowned. 

"Is this like, a parents thing? Because of your mom and dad's issues? Are you doing this because -"

"- no," Hongjoong snapped defensively, "I'm doing it because it's the best thing to do. If all you're going to do is judge me then -" 

"- I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Yunho interrupted, looking concerned. "That was invasive and I shouldn't have said it. I won't judge you, I promise. Just - can you try to talk to me, at least? Instead of bottling everything up? I'm just worried about you."

All the anger drained out of Hongjoong in a heartbeat and he sighed, defeated.

"I know. Okay, I'll talk to you if it gets too much. Sorry for snapping." 

"Sorry for pushing." 

"It's okay. Now do you have any more difficult emotional topics you'd like to bring up or can we go the fuck back to sleep?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Hwa :(


	7. Hawthorn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update was so slow! College and work and my immune system are kicking my ass right now :') But I should have some more time for writing soon!  
> This was never supposed to have so much Youngjo in it but??? I love him??? So whatever  
> Hopefully you all like it!

A few hours after the impromptu heart to heart, Hongjoong woke up because he was too hot - an extremely rare occurrence - and having some difficulty breathing. Opening his eyes told him nothing except that his head was under the blankets, and it was only after wriggling his way up the bed that he realised Yunho had somehow tugged the covers up to his nose in his sleep and almost suffocated Hongjoong in the process. He shook his head, then climbed over Yunho's endless legs to check his phone. It was earlier than he'd set his alarm, so he wasn't late, but there was a message waiting from Seonghwa. 

Hwa [8.01am]

_Hey, not feeling well today_

_I'm missing class sorry_

Me [8.35am]

_Oh no! Are you okay?_

_Do you need anything?_

Hwa [8.37am]

_I'm okay_

_My neighbour is looking after me_

_Thanks though_

Hongjoong frowned down at his phone. Those messages… Either Seonghwa was mad, or really feeling unwell. He made a mental note to check in on him later in the day and started to get ready for class, ignoring the tight, unpleasant knot of anxiety that had started to form in his stomach. He managed to stumble into his composition class a minute before it started and could barely pay attention long enough to take notes. Arithmancy was even worse because there was a scowly short guy taking up Seonghwa's usual spot and Hongjoong kept accidentally turning to talk to him before remembering he was sitting by a total stranger. When the torture finally ended, he gave in and brought up the apartment group chat on his way out of the lecture hall.

**underlings**

Me [12.31pm]

_are any of you morons free rn_

Sanana [12.31pm]

_Why_

Woooooo [12.31pm]

_What for?_

Hehet [12.31pm]

_Why?_

Panty Thief [12.31pm]

_My class ends at 1!_

Me [12.32pm]

_Yunho you're the only one I trust_

Me [12.32pm]

_The rest of you are fakes_

Panty Thief [12.32pm]

_nawwww whatchu need joongles?_

Me [12.33pm] 

_Before that can I hear why ur names panty thief_

Panty Thief [12.33pm]

_I didn't realise it was_

Sanana [12.33pm]

_Because I saw you!_

Sanana [12.34pm]

_Wearing my new underwear!_

Sanana [12.34pm]

_You thieving bitch_

Panty Thief [12.34pm]

_???????????_

Sanana [12.34pm]

_THE BLUE AND WHITE ONES_

Panty Thief [12.35pm]

_Those are mine???_

Me [12.35pm]

_San did you buy the same cheap multipack of underwear as Yunho_

Sanana [12.35pm]

_… I did not think of that_

Panty Thief [12.35pm]

_So that's why they were so tight_

Panty Thief [12.35pm]

_I thought the dryer shrunk them_

Sanana [12.36pm]

_…_

Me [12.36pm]

_:o_

Hehet [12.36pm]

_:o_

Woooooo [12.36pm]

_:o_

Hehet [12.36pm]

_Savage_

Hehet [12.36pm]

_anyway Hongjoong you were saying_

Me [12.37pm]

_Oh yeah Hwa isn't well can one of you pls check on him_

Sanana [12.37pm]

_uh why aren't you doing your mom thing yourself_

Woooooo [12.37pm]

_bc Joong has to go suck the music department's most desirable dick_

Woooooo [12.37pm]

_you inconsiderate fuck_

Sanana [12.38pm]

_is it National Bully San day????_

Hehet [12.38pm]

_I can go check on him_

Hehet [12.38pm]

_I'll take some pepperbloom_

Me [12.38pm]

_yes good thank you_

> _Jeong Yunho changed their name to_ Innocent Man<

Innocent Man [12.39pm]

_I can help if u want sangie?_

Hehet [12.39pm] 

_It's okay I gotta talk to hwa anyway_

Woooooo [12.40pm]

_"""talk"""_

Innocent Man [12.40pm]

_wooyoung stop being an asshole_

Woooooo [12.40pm]

_…… okay?_

  
  


Hongjoong groaned as his screen lit up with a private message from Yunho. He texted back one handed, half of his attention on not killing himself or his laptop as he navigated the hoard of people all attempting to get down the narrow path past the arts lawn. 

Golden ReDV.A [12.42pm]

_are u doing okay :(((_

Me [12.42pm]

_Im fine you hugebaby_

Me [12.42pm]

_I can take a dickk_

Me [12.42pm]

_joke but thnks for checking I GUESS_

Golden ReDV.A [12.43pm]

_it's because i love and care about u_

Golden ReDV.A [12.43pm]

_I GUESS_

Golden ReDV.A [12.43pm]

_… should i apologise_

Me [12.43pm]

_uh probabyl_

Golden ReDV.A [12.44pm]

_fuck_

  
  


**underlings**

Innocent Man [12.40pm]

_wooyoung stop being an asshole_

Woooooo [12.40pm]

_……okay?_

Innocent Man [12.45pm]

_i'm sorry :c ur not an asshole i am_

Innocent Man [12.45pm]

_i'm just crabby from class quiz_

Innocent Man [12.45pm]

_please accept this humble apology offering_

>image attached<

Woooooo [12.47pm]

_you're forgiven I love blackmail material_

Hongjoong frowned and opened the image. It was a screenshot of the message preview for his chat with Yunho, which read: 

tiny teeth terror [12.43]: _I can take a dickk_

**underlings**

Me [12.48pm]

_i hate all of you_

Sanana [12.48pm]

_uwu_

Woooooo [12.48pm]

_bullshit_

Hehet [12.48pm]

_It's mutual_

Innocent Man [12.48]

_ <3 <3 <3 _

Min!Gi! [12.50pm]

_did i miss something_

Hongjoong rolled his eyes so hard it hurt and muted the chat. He decided to sneak into the mostly-abandoned engineering library to do some study before meeting Youngjo, because the engineering faculty had some next level comfortable booth chairs with charging ports in the arms. Even though engineering students never seemed to actually _use_ the engineering library and the chairs were a waste of precious funds that could have refurbished the mouldy corner in the arts library but whatever. Hongjoong holed up in a booth chair and ended up scrolling through instagram for fifteen minutes instead. He was having a great, brainless time until he happened across Yeosang's selca from his movie date with Seonghwa and had to quit the app to stop himself from sending it to Yunho with every sad emoji on the keyboard. 

"It's _fine_ ," he hissed to himself under his breath. He made sure there was nobody around to judge him and then opened his own camera to check his appearance. Youngjo had said wear anything, but Youngjo was pretty much a supermodel who would probably look good in actual garbage, so Hongjoong had taken that with a pinch of salt. The end result was just one of Yunho's softest fuzzy white sweaters and his usual black jeans and boots combo, but he had bothered to style his hair under a black felt hat and added some charmed earrings to boost his confidence. Unfortunately he has figured out about midway through his first class that he'd picked up the wrong silver hoops and they were improving his ability to detect people's sexual interest rather than making him feel powerful. He had a very strong feeling they belonged to Wooyoung and had a very strong urge to never again leave his own jewellery where his housemates could find it. 

Deciding that he looked acceptable, Hongjoong yanked his charger out of the port and made his way out of the library, ignoring the side eye from a group of first-years in ugly polo shirts that made the hoops in his ears tingle. Kind of flattering, kind of gross to know.

Bonsai Brew did not really look like a real place. It was tacked on to the end of what Hongjoong thought had been the old business faculty building and was now a set of admin offices. He supposed technically the café was part of the same building, but it just didn't look that way because it was painted a dark forest green with a bio-steampunk mural sprawling over all three storeys, tangling with the actual plants that had overflowed from the balconies or crept up from the trellises on either side of the entrance. Every window was full of plants and sculptures, including one that had the torso of a shop mannequin just hanging from the windowsill, draped in a faded pirate flag to cover its modesty. The entrance was a single wooden door with the cafe's name and opening times graffitied on it - the only indication that it was in fact a cafe - and there were two raised garden beds squeezed into the short space between the building and the sidewalk. Hongjoong squinted at the mesh covers as he walked past and was pleasantly surprised to see they were full of herbs and edible flowers. 

Opening the door unleashed a muted wave of sound - the screeching of a coffee machine, the clatter of plates, murmuring voices and beneath it all, a familiar melody gently flowing into every quiet moment courtesy of a surprisingly decent sound system. The decor clashed wildly, the sleek metal and marble service area in complete contrast with the aged wooden floors and staircase. Every coffee table seemed to be of a different material and era, from a solid oak writing desk in one corner to a neon paint-splattered metal work bench in the other. The seating looked as though it had all been reclaimed from eccentric old relatives - paisley lounges, velour ottomans, leather sofas and patchwork beanbags all accessorised with overstuffed cushions and crocheted blankets. There were at least four customers Hongjoong could see who had abandoned the pretence of studying and were just straight up sleeping, their drinks slowly going cold on the tables in front of them. There were two extremely cute girls bundled up under a woollen blanket on the sofa nearest the entrance and he felt the silver rings in his ears warm up as they ducked behind their menu and whispered, their glittery eyeshadow winking in the dim light as they tried to check him out without seeming too obvious. Hongjoong blushed furiously and joined the queue for the coffee counter. 

Me [1.31pm] 

_Hey I am in line for coffee!_

Me [1.31pm] 

_What do you want?_

Youngjo ♡ [1.31pm] 

_omg don't u dare_

Youngjo ♡ [1.31pm]

_stay where you are!_

Hongjoong blinked at the message, a little startled. Was he supposed to wait outside? He started to type out a question, but was interrupted by a strong, unfamiliar arm hooking around his waist and pulling him in for a quick hug. Hongjoong's earrings flared up uncomfortably hot and he squeaked, hands instinctively flying up to check for damage. There was none, of course, because the charm caused artificial sensation, but he sensibly decided to take out the hoops as he turned to face Youngjo.

"You look gorgeous," the TA said by way of greeting, "I'd die to have your sense of style." 

Hongjoong nearly swallowed his tongue but managed to recover with minimal choking and return his smile.

"As if you don't look twice as good," he pretended to complain, slipping the earrings into his pocket. Youngjo waved him off, but Hongjoong caught his pleased little smirk. He _did_ look great, as always, in a thin hoodie and a torn denim jacket that straddled the line between troublemaker and perfect boyfriend. _If only_ , Hongjoong thought a little wistfully. 

Youngjo insisted on paying, reminding Hongjoong that the whole reason for meeting up was that he'd knocked Hongjoong's coffee right out of his hands. He also ordered two serves of soup, promising it was to die for, and then carried their drinks up the stairs like a professional waiter, expressing how terrible it was that he had never visited the café before. He made a beeline for a table near the mannequin window, carefully placing his pot of tea and Hongjoong's coffee onto the surface.

"That song playing before was a student piece, right?" Hongjoong asked as he squeezed past a large parlour palm to get to the table. The table was in fact half a surfboard with driftwood for legs, flanked by a hot pink chaise lounge and two cushy corduroy armchairs. 

"Yes, it was Badtiming," Youngjo announced as he took the chaise lounge, kicking his sneakers off so that he could curl his feet up under him. 

"That's right… I only remember his account is called Kino but I did meet the guy." 

"Hyunggu," Youngjo supplied. "He's amazing. He can dance like crazy, too. Hwanwoong says - well." 

There was an awkward pause for a few moments, every muscle in Hongjoong's body coiling up in preparation to cringe. When he finally gathered the courage, they both spoke at once.

"I have to tell-"

"I need to confe-"

"You go," Hongjoong suggested politely. 

"I have a confession to make," Youngjo said, looking sheepish. "Just hear me out. So I have a boyfriend." 

Hongjoong's heart sank into his shoes. He'd thought Youngjo was a good guy. 

"Wha -"

"- he knows I'm here!" Youngjo added hastily, "I'm not an asshole, he has given his blessing for this date. It's just, well. We're both looking for another person to date, together. So I just wanted to make sure you're open to that, before we go any further. No pressure though," he reassured, "It's absolutely fine if it's too much. I'd love to be friends with you instead if that's how it is." 

"Oh," Hongjoong managed, a little bit stunned, "I mean, you're lovely, and I'm sure your boyfriend is lovely too, and it's not that I'm opposed to dating two people or anything. Actually, I think it's great," he rambled. Somehow he ended up delivering a monologue on how the differences between monogamy and polyamory were overstated and realised towards the end of it that Youngjo was looking quite taken aback. He hastily managed to refocus on what he had intended to say in the first place. "Anyway, I just have to confess something too, because I kind of just had a, uh, break up, of sorts, and I didn't mean to lead you on or anything I swear, but I don't think I can really date yet?" His voice squeaked at the end and he wanted to die, casting his eyes up to the ceiling to seek annihilation from the heavens. The light shades were all made out of old colanders and tin cans, he noticed. That was pretty cool. 

Youngjo, to his credit, took the onslaught in his stride with grace. He had calmly poured out some of his tea and was cupping it in his elegant hands as though it were fine bone china rather than a novelty halloween mug with a faded pumpkin hiding beneath his thumbs. He looked like a modern-day prince and Hongjoong absently wondered if there was anything he did that wasn't automatically hot. Maybe he was like those cats on the internet that looked horrifying when they fell asleep.

"Okay," Youngjo said, breaking him out of his musing, "Did you need to like… talk about it?" 

"You're not - upset?" Hongjoong checked anxiously.

Youngjo smiled.

"No way! You agreed to one date, not marriage. And I wasn't exactly upfront either; I'm not a hypocrite. But obviously this... breakup? Is bothering you, and we've ordered food, so we might as well talk about something." 

Hongjoong hesitated, unsure whether he really wanted to unload his problems onto someone who didn't even know Yeosang or Seonghwa. But then maybe that was a good thing - maybe venting to a neutral party would get it out of his system without causing any rifts in their friendship group. 

"Alright," he decided out loud, "but only if you have something to vent about too. I can't just use you like free therapy," he argued. "If we're going to be unusually emotional acquaintances, it has to be a fair exchange." 

Youngjo gave a surprised laugh. 

"Unusually emotional acquaintances? Is that your way of saying friends?" he asked. Hongjoong couldn't help but smile back.

"I guess it is." 

Hongjoong started explaining with a detached, neutral tone, hoping to get swiftly to the end and then ask for Youngjo's perspective. In reality, his voice started to get all wobbly halfway through and the waitress who brought their soup out had to politely pretend not to notice Hongjoong sniffling into a garish floral napkin as Youngjo patted him sympathetically on the shoulder. 

When she came back about thirty minutes later to collect the empty dishes, Youngjo had sprawled over the chaise lounge like a stereotypical therapy patient and was getting quite emotional as he hashed out his and Hwanwoong's different requirements for sex and affection and how he was worried that adding a third person to their relationship was either going to make or break them. This involved some fairly explicit language and hand gestures about dicks and Youngjo either didn't notice or didn't care enough to pause them as the waitress bent forward to pick up the empty teapot.

"And it's like, I know you have a sex drive the size of a small city, but like, a man's dick can only take so much stepping, you know?" 

"Mhm," Hongjoong agreed, as the waitress raised an incredulous eyebrow at him. He responded with a helpless shrug as Youngjo started complaining about trying to record rap the morning after deepthroating. She rolled her eyes so hard it probably hurt and returned a little while later with another pot of tea and some complimentary macarons. By three o'clock, both of them had talked themselves out and consumed almost all the macarons, despite their suspicions that the waitress might have poisoned them. 

"Well that was exhausting," Youngjo commented around a mouthful of lavender sugar. "I do feel better though."

"Same," Hongjoong agreed, "Maybe we should start a service. People come here and bitch about their lives, we eat macarons and listen attentively." 

Youngjo snorted.

"As if I'll have time. If I _ever_ get a second boyfriend, I'm barely going to have time to sleep." 

Hongjoong hummed. 

"On that note, if I - hypothetically - knew somebody who would - hypothetically - date you two, what would you say?" 

Youngjo froze with the remaining half of his macaron hovering in front of his mouth. 

"I'd say please give me their number and I promise I'll be nice to them?" he said sweetly. 

Hongjoong squinted at him, decided he was being genuine, then pulled out his phone and sent Mingi's number to Youngjo. 

Me [3.11pm] 

_You're welcome_

BFG [3.11pm] 

_uh_

_for what_

Hongjoong cruelly left him on read and then pocketed his phone again, feeling it vibrate a few more times as Mingi no doubt rioted in his notifications. 

"Ok, I sent you his number. His name is Mingi and he's doing chemical engineering, but he dances in his free time." 

"Ah, so he knows Woong?" Youngjo asked as he saved Mingi's contact information. 

"Not very well, as far as I know. But I do know - not that I told you this - that Mingi thinks you're both hot and he's a good guy, so, you know," Hongjoong explained.

"Off to a good start," Youngjo said, "I'll get Woong to text him so it's less weird."

As they finally wrapped up their not-date and heavily tipped their long suffering waitress, Hongjoong's phone buzzed crazily in his pocket and he looked down to see eleven messages from Mingi.

BFG [3.11pm]

_joong for what_

BFG [3.12pm] 

_where did u go_

BFG [3.12pm] 

_i am suspicious_

BFG [3.12pm] 

_why am i thanking you_

BFG [3.34pm] 

_KAJSHDHDJDHD_

BFG [3.34pm]

_AJAGK_

BFG [3.34pm]

_WHAT THE FHAHSJ_

BFG [3.34pm]

_HINGJOSNG_

BFG [3.35pm]

_HONGJOOGN IM GONNA KILL YOU_

BFG [3.35pm] 

_WHY DID I JSUST RECEIEVES THIS_

BFG [3.35pm]

>image attached<

The image was a screenshot of a text from an unknown number that said "Hey, this is Hwanwoong. I know we don't know each other well yet but I heard you think I'm hot?"

Hongjoong snickered as more panicked messages flowed in from Mingi.

"Everything ok?" Youngjo asked. Hongjoong showed him the attachment and he laughed, a bit sheepish.

"Ah. I probably should have told him to be a bit more subtle," he said. 

"It's fine," Hongjoong replied. "Mingi won't actually kill me. For one, he's secretly loving this and for two, he knows I could end him twice as fast." 

"Noted," Youngjo said as he opened the door for them both. "Thanks for today, even though it didn't go how we expected. Do you wanna meet up again in a couple of weeks? Maybe in one of the practice rooms?" 

"Sounds great," Hongjoong said, stamping his feet to ward off the cold. 

"And I'll bully you into recording a track for the café," Youngjo added brightly.

"Hey! I didn't say -" 

"- too late, you already agreed. See you later, Hongjoong!" 

He darted out of range of Hongjoong's smack and waved cheerfully as he strode off in the direction of the arts library, inadvertently drawing the eye of three girls huddling together as they walked the opposite way. Hongjoong shook his head and set off towards his apartment. 

It was a lazy kind of night on campus, much warmer than it had been, as though even the incoming winter was too tired to really make an effort. Hongjoong didn't mind it, and it reminded him of a song demo he wanted to revisit as he walked. He was halfway through detangling his headphones when his phone started buzzing and he glanced down to see 'Underappreciated Life Giver (call more often)' flash up on his screen. Shaking his head, he answered the call.

"I see you managed to change your caller ID again last time I was home," he said by way of greeting. 

"Your unlock pattern is ridiculously easy to guess," his mother retorted. "What did I change it to again? Is it the womb one?" 

"Uh, something about life giver. The womb one?" Hongjoong asked, mildly alarmed. 

"Don't worry about it, darling. Anyway, enough of that! How are you doing? Are you feeding your housemates properly?"

Hongjoong rolled his eyes, though he couldn't help his smile.

"Aren't you supposed to ask if _I'm_ eating properly? You know, your son?"

"Hah! I know you're not eating properly. If you're feeding the others at least there's a chance you'll nourish yourself at the same time," she nagged. He fended off a series of borderline invasive questions about his cleaning habits and health, hastily trying to angle the conversation away from himself when she asked how often he was seeing a dentist.

“Speaking of teeth, how’s Sanghun?” he attempted to segue. His mother let out a startled laugh.

“What’s Sanghun got to do with teeth?” she asked, baffled.

“Nothing, I just didn’t know how else to bring him up,” Hongjoong admitted freely.

“Well, he’s great. We’re ah - we’re thinking of living together, actually,” she said, sounding a little cautious. Both of his parents acted like they were walking on eggshells when they mentioned their separation, as though they really believed they’d protected him from the conflict when he was younger and didn’t want to shock him with it. Hongjoong barely refrained from rolling his eyes.

“God, finally,” he said. “What does that make it now, five years? I can’t believe you’ve taken so long to get with your _soulmate_.”

“Don’t be cheeky,” his mother scolded, though she sounded relieved at his blasé response. “Just because we’re soulmates, doesn’t mean we could have jumped right into a functioning romantic relationship.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Hongjoong said noncommittally. 

“Anyway, what about you? Weren’t you taking another class with that cute divination boy?”

Hongjoong’s mood sank like a stone and he forced a laugh, hoping it wasn’t too obvious when it caught in his throat. He lingered outside his apartment block, absently kicking loose stones down the steps to listen to them clatter. This wasn’t a conversation he really wanted to have in front of other people.

“Nah, he ah - he found his soulmate,” he said casually, “but it’s not worth talking about.”

“Darling, you know you're st -”

“- I _don’t_ want to talk about it, mom, seriously,” he said through his teeth. 

She sighed.

“Okay, well, if you need somewhere to be after midterms, don’t hesitate to come home, okay? I’ll make dumplings and we can watch stupid reality shows when I come home from work,” she offered. 

“I’ll let you know,” Hongjoong promised, as he fished his keys out of his backpack. “Anyway, I’m going to go and feed your favourite children now.”

“You’re still my favourite, darling. But do say hello to San and Mingi for me -”

“- I will -”

“- and kiss them for me -”

“- I’d rather die -”

“- and call your father! He’s been sharing a lot of articles about skateboards and lawnmowers and I worry about what he’s planning to build,” she insisted, as Hongjoong got through the front door.

“Yessir,” he said, nearly bumping into Wooyoung as he came out of San’s room. 

“Oh! And Eunha from the law faculty says she keeps seeing him with some guy on a motorcycle? Like, a really handsome guy, could be an actor. Do you know about that?” 

Hongjoong winced as her voice rose in excitement and Wooyoung shot him a questioning look, gesturing to the phone.

“No, mom, I don’t keep tabs on my father’s dating life, though apparently you still do?” He said, shaping the last bit into a question. Wooyoung grinned at him and disappeared into the kitchen.

“Just because we didn’t work out, doesn’t mean I don’t care about him. He’s your dad, I want him to be happy too,” his mother said. “And I’m nosey, sue me. Call me back about it, okay?”

“ _Okay_ ,” Hongjoong agreed, trying to add some finality to his tone, “Love you, I’ll talk to you soon.”

“You better,” she threatened. “Love you too, darling. Bye!”

Hongjoong ended the call and dumped his backpack on the bed, letting it bounce once before he collapsed down to join it. It wasn't even four o'clock and he still hadn't done his readings for arithmancy, but all he wanted to do was nap. That pipe dream was abruptly shattered by the horrific sound that erupted from the corridor.

"KIM HONGJOONG!" Mingi screeched, shouldering his door open without so much as knocking. Hongjoong didn't bother to look up.

"I know, I'm the best friend ever and you love me and want to offer your - augh!" 

He grunted the last part as Mingi flopped on top of him with his full weight crushing Hongjoong into the mattress. 

"I hate youuuuu," Mingi whined, pinning the backs of Hongjoong's thighs down with his bony knees and ignoring the consequent yelping. "You were supposed to date Youngjo, not set him and Hwanwoong up to _ruin_ my _life_ ," he wailed.

Hongjoong managed to break free with a well-aimed elbow to the ribs and rolled to the edge of the bed, panting. 

"Oh shut up, you're loving this, you useless bottom."

"I am," Mingi admitted freely, "But you're still a dick. Also seriously, it didn't go well with Youngjo? I thought you two would like, vibe." 

Hongjoong flopped back onto his pillows, absently opening instagram again. 

"Oh it was great, we get on great," he said truthfully, "but we just wanna be friends. I don't really have the time management skills to date two people, and from his pictures, Hwanwoong isn't really my type." 

"Because you're both short, bossy twinks?" Mingi asked. Hongjoong leveled a stare at him over the top of his screen. 

"Sorry, did I just hear you say you wanted to sweat jellyfish jelly for the next three days?" he enquired politely. 

"That's not a real hex," Mingi argued uncertainly. Hongjoong smiled with all his teeth.

"Are you sure about that?" 

"Uh… no." 

"And are you going to go and make your dearest friend a drink now to say thank you for your boosted love life?" 

"Uh… yes?"

"Good boy. I'll have tea, please." 

Hongjoong watched quite contentedly as Mingi scurried off in obedient fear, then went back to stalking Hyunggu on instagram.


	8. Chinaberry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short one today! I'm kinda working on the last two chapters at the same time tryna untangle some continuity knots but hopefully they'll be ready soon! Hope you enjoy!

It was easy to avoid his feelings - and therefore Seonghwa - because midterms meant that everyone was up to their eyeballs in graded projects and exam revision. The apartment residents and visitors came to expect at least one breakdown in the kitchen per day, and had unanimously decided to give up on eating dinners together because their schedules were so out of whack. Hongjoong had begged off some of his shifts at work, which Felix had happily taken as an organised first year with less assessment and more financial desperation. He'd also messaged Seonghwa saying not to worry about walking him home, as Yunho had taken to staying late in the IT labs and they could go together. The only problem was convincing a tired, stressed-out Yunho that he was actually going to do that. In the end, bribery and blackmail failed and it came down to good old-fashioned begging.

"Fine," Yunho had relented eventually, doing that stupid puffed-out pout that rivalled Mingi's sad face. "But Tzuyu and Adachi want to throw a party at our place on Friday night and you have to come. You're not moping about avoiding Seonghwa for the whole break."

Sleep-deprived, anxiety-fuelled, pre-exam Hongjoong had thought that was an excellent method of postponing his problems for well-rested, post-exam Hongjoong to deal with and took the trade in a heartbeat. For the next five days, he tried harder than ever to keep his anxiety under control, focussing all of his energy on supporting his housemates and studying for his exams, ignoring the voice in his brain that kept telling him he was slow, he was stupid, he was useless. In high school, he'd let that voice get the better of him more than once, and he wasn't going to let it happen again. 

"I  _ am _ smart, I  _ can _ do it," he reminded himself, whenever his arithmancy calculations came out in nonsense. "Take a deep breath and start again." 

That mentality pushed him through two final papers and a decent amount of revision. His exams passed in a whirl of caffeine and violent cursing and shaking hands, but then suddenly, midway through Thursday morning, his last exam was over and he was blessedly finished.

The first thing Hongjoong did after coming home was to put his face into his pillow and scream. He was sorely tempted to just knock out right there right then, but his mother's lectures on diligent hygiene were too deeply ingrained and he reluctantly dragged himself to the shower. Then he caught sight of the fancy tissue mask set that San had gifted him for his birthday and figured he might as well. The domino effect of happening across more bed and bath products resulted in Hongjoong feeling quite content with himself, cleansed, toned, moisturised and swaddled in clean, matching pyjamas and fresh bedding, drinking peppermint tea with honey. 

The massive release of tension had him dozing in and out of rewatching Avatar Last Airbender despite it only being one in the afternoon, and the only thing he was lacking was a warm, preferably large human body onto which he could shove his icy toes. As far as he could remember, Mingi had taken his last exam the night prior and had planned to do nothing but sleep and play videogames for 24 hours, so he was the most likely target. With some grumbling, Hongjoong wrapped one of his blankets around his shoulders like a cape and then shuffled out of the room in his minion slippers feeling dignified and entitled to cuddles. Both feelings spiralled rapidly down a drain near his feet when he turned into the living room and came face to face with Seonghwa. 

"Oh! Uh - hi?" He garbled. Seonghwa was dressed well, as per usual, in black skinny jeans and an oversized violet sweater that somehow highlighted his model proportions instead of swamping them. Hongjoong was very keenly aware of his own childish pyjamas, the pillow creases he could feel on his cheek and the fact he'd pulled his hair up into a stupid little sprout ponytail on the top of his head.

"Hongjoong! I didn't realise you were here," Seonghwa said, breaking out his killer smile. "I'm just helping San study for his written exam. How did yours go?" 

Hongjoong pulled a face.

"I'm pretty sure I passed but I'm not expecting miracles." 

Seonghwa rolled his eyes.

"You say that every time, then come out with the highest grade possible," he accused fondly. "Have you been napping?" 

Hongjoong felt the colour rush up into his face and he stared stubbornly at his slippers, cursing the bugged-out minion eyes for being simultaneously so cute and so embarrassing. 

“Oh, uh - yeah, kind of. I was just watching cartoons and dozing but I’m too cold so I’m going to drag Mingi into my den.”

When he spoke, Seonghwa’s voice was soft.

“You know, for someone who pretends to gag when someone blows a kiss at you in public, you sure are soft and cuddly behind closed doors.”

Hongjoong looked up at him, ready to scowl and complain about the teasing, but his words got caught in his throat. The expression on Seonghwa’s face - the way he was looking at him with such open fondness - it cut Hongjoong to the core, sending one part of his brain soaring into a fantasy world where he was good enough to be Seonghwa’s soulmate whilst his rational side clipped his wings and tethered him to reality. 

“It’s just... “ he started, realising he’d been silent for too long. “I just use them for their body heat,” he said firmly, coercing his mouth into a smile. “If someone is willing to suffer my ice hands then I’ll give them whatever they want.”

“How come you’re not that way with me then,” Seonghwa complained, the teasing tone forced and unnatural. “Am I not your favourite?”

There was something genuinely hurt behind his words and Hongjoong reeled, lost as to why Seonghwa was doing this, why he kept  _ pushing _ . He frowned slightly, but Seonghwa only met his eyes with a glint of determination in his expression. Hongjoong floundered, feeling as though they were having two different conversations at once.

“Well - They - The other boys, they - they like skinship and platonic affection and stuff,” he rambled, waving his hand in an attempt to regain his casual image. “They’re like puppies. Puppies with warm legs that I can warm my horrible feet on. Hence, I need Mingi to come and keep me warm.”

Seonghwa nodded, accepting his answer, and Hongjoong let out a quiet breath of relief, thankful to have this conversation over with. But then -

“I don’t mind coming to keep you warm?” Seonghwa offered, “I think Mingi has gone out to buy snacks. I want skinship too.”

Hongjoong felt like he’d been doused in cold water, felt like his brain had just started floating a couple of inches outside of his skull. Mostly, he just wanted to give in. It would be so easy to say “okay”, to let Seonghwa cuddle into his blankets and fall asleep to the scent of sweet orange oil and the warmth of a firm, tall body curled around his own. He knew, though, that letting himself get close would only hurt more in the long run, when Yeosang -  _ Yeosang _ . How would he feel knowing that his soulmate was cuddling up to a guy who, until recently, he’d thought he had feelings for? Why did Seonghwa  _ insist  _ on pushing the issue, when he knew Hongjoong wasn't meant for him, when he had someone  _ right there  _ who was beautiful and talented and sweet? Was it pity? He felt a flicker of anger coil up in his chest and his response came out colder than he intended.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Seonghwa blinked, surprise registering on his features before he frowned. 

“Is that - “

“Seonghwa!” San whined, launching himself bodily at the older boy from behind. “Thank god you’re still here. I just tried writing this cleansing spell and it burnt right through the paper and onto my desk!”

Seonghwa freed himself, looking alarmed.    
“Did it catch fire?” he demanded, darting over to San’s room to inspect the damage. San trailed forlornly after him, leaving Hongjoong frozen in the corridor. Hongjoong was about to chalk it up to good luck when San turned last minute to raise an eyebrow at him before Seonghwa yelped and he turned away. “Oh my god, San, there’s smoke everywhere! This stinks of frustration - you need to remember what I told you about clearing your mind before trying to…”

Hongjoong let the sound of his lecture fade as he retreated back into his own room then closed the door and flicked the lights off, hoping it would give the impression he was asleep. Then he sent a heartfelt complaint to Youngjo, who sent back a handful of memes about relationships being trash. They were clever enough to make him smile, but they didn’t soothe the heavy, tight feeling at the base of his throat and he tossed his phone onto the carpet, resigning himself to a feelings-avoidance nap.

When he woke up just over an hour later, it was to Wooyoung’s high-pitched giggling and the soft murmur of other voices. Warily, he emerged into the living room to see Seonghwa and Yeosang curled up like kittens on one end of the sofa with Yunho drooling in his sleep on the other. Mingi was sprawled on a beanbag and Wooyoung was sitting on a kitchen chair with his calves hooked over Mingi’s shoulders, both of them intensely focussed on what sounded like a comical documentary on ostriches. 

“Did San get to his exam?” Hongjoong asked the room at large.

“Yeah, he’ll be back in a couple of hours,” Wooyoung informed him, “Please can you make your fancy hot chocolate?”

Hongjoong sent him an incredulous look.

“What am I, your slave?”

“But Joong,” Wooyoung whined, “You make it the best.”

Mingi looked up and added his heartbreaking pout to the equation and Hongjoong’s mouth moved before he gave it permission to.

“ _ Fine, _ ” he grumbled, padding over to the kitchen. “Yeosang, do you want one? Seonghwa?”

“Ah, we’re just about to head to the skatepark before it goes dark,” Yeosang chirped, “Thanks, though. I’m just going to use the bathroom then we’ll head out.”

Hongjoong made an affirmative noise as he set up a pan of milk on the stove, then knelt down to dig a small jar of lavender out of the cupboard. He heard noise behind him and turned to see Seonghwa hovering awkwardly in the doorway, eyes trained somewhere on the ground. 

“Sorry about earlier,” he muttered, “I was frustrated about something and I shouldn’t have made you uncomfortable.”

“It’s fine, I barely noticed,” Hongjoong lied. “Exam season, right? Makes us all crazy.”

“Sure does." 

The silence stretched on between them and Hongjoong felt the awkwardness like a physical sensation through his body, a near-consuming urge to curl into a ball or climb into the cupboard or do  _ anything _ to escape his awful awareness of the tension between them. He had started painstakingly unwrapping the chocolate just to have something to do with his hands when Seonghwa had mercy and spoke again.

So, are you going to Yunho’s party tomorrow?” he asked, relaxing against the door frame as Hongjoong broke the chocolate up into squares. 

“Yep, under threat of bodily harm if I miss it. It’ll be weird seeing where he’s actually supposed to live. And meeting his housemates.”

“Yunho has housemates?” Yeosang piped up from behind Seonghwa.

“Allegedly,” Hongjoong said. “Yunho says they don't mind him staying here all the time because it means they don't have to put up with him yelling at Overwatch until four in the morning. Are you going too, Sangie?”

“As if Yunho would let me get away with skipping,” Yeosang said, rolling his eyes. “And someone needs to control Mingi’s drinking until you get there.”

“Until I get there?” Hongjoong asked, brows creasing. Seonghwa laughed softly.

“You’ve never been less than an hour late to a party, Joong.”

“More like two hours when he was still styling that cursed mullet,” Yeosang quipped, then ducked as Hongjoong threw a plastic spoon at him. “Alright, Hongjoong rage hours open, time to leave.”

He grabbed a laughing Seonghwa by the elbow and they stumbled out of the room. Hongjoong stared at the empty doorway for a moment, feeling too heavy for his body, then shook himself out of it and turned back to stop the milk from coming to a boil. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also barefaced ponytail Hongjoong :'(


	9. Juniper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhhhh my god, I'm so sorry about the huge delay in writing this and responding to comments >________<  
> Work stress got to me and I had like five chronic health flare ups in two weeks so this is honestly the first time I've had the energy to look at a screen for so long TT___TT  
> Thank you SO much to everyone who has commented, especially those who comment on every chapter, it really helped me to persevere and get this finished!!  
> Anyway here's wonderwall

Hongjoong spent Thursday evening and Friday morning being a vegetable, until Jongho showed up with a huge, frightening smile and phrases like "fresh air" and "exercise" and made him go for a run - read: pathetic stumble - around campus. Admittedly, it did make him feel better. As did the hot shower and the bottles of grapefruit soju that Jongho had brought as a reward before disappearing to do Jongho things. By four in the afternoon, Hongjoong was relaxed and giggly enough to let a doting Wooyoung do his makeup at their kitchen table, the whole surface a mess of bottles and brushes as the younger boy sat in his lap and flicked between reference images on Pinterest as he did something complicated with Hongjoong's eyebrow. Hongjoong stole San's remaining airpod to listen to RM's solo albums as he worked, occasionally coming close to drifting off until Wooyoung almost poked him in the eye with an eyeliner pencil. 

About halfway through the process, San appeared, lounging over the back of the couch with Shiber hot on his heels. He had made his hair dark again, fluffy brown strands peeking out from beneath his beanie as he fidgeted.

"What are you doing?" he asked Wooyoung, making grabby hands at the phone. Wooyoung obediently flashed the screen towards him.

"Oh, nice." 

"Can I see?" Hongjoong asked, opening his eyes.

"No!" they replied in chorus, Wooyoung clutching his phone to his chest as if to protect it.

Hongjoong pouted and closed his eyes again.

"Joong, can I colour your hair? You'd look so good platinum blonde."

"I  _ just _ dyed it." 

"Temporarily? Tonight only?" 

"What do I get out of it?"

There was a moment of contemplative silence.

"A blowjob?" San offered.

"Excuse me?" Wooyoung said, as Hongjoong mimed retching.

San rolled his eyes at both of them.

"Not from  _ me _ , obviously. I'd find someone else to do it."

"Hard pass," Hongjoong remarked, closing his eyes again as Wooyoung brandished an eyeshadow brush. He suffered another few minutes of tickling on his eyelids, then Wooyoung stepped back and sprayed him with a cool, perfumed mist as he announced that he was done. A moment later, the front door slammed open and closed and Mingi let out a pained noise from the hallway. 

"You alive?" San called, then shrieked and threw a pillow at Mingi as he waddled into the living room. Hongjoong turned around just in time to see Mingi hold the pillow strategically in front of his crotch and crab-walk towards the bathroom, glaring daggers at San.

"Right in front of my salad?" Wooyoung asked incredulously.

"Shut up, it wasn't my fault," Mingi whined. "It was -" 

He cut himself off and mumbled something furious under his breath about 'Them'.

"As if you weren't into it, you exhibitionist fuck," Wooyoung accused. 

"That's so many hickies. Your neck looks like a strawberry cheesecake," San observed, sounding somewhere between impressed and disgusted.

"Woo, San, let him be," Hongjoong warned as Mingi looked suspiciously close to pouting. "Mingi, put that away before it takes someone's eye out, Jesus." 

"I'm  _ trying _ ," Mingi snapped, then sidestepped into the bathroom and shut the door on them. 

Hongjoong opened his chat with Youngjo.

Me [5.05pm] 

_ You promised to be nice to Mingi  _

Me [5.05pm] 

_ Why does he look like he's gonna cry? _

Youngjo ♡ [5.06pm] 

_ I never claimed to be able to control Hwanwoong  _

Hongjoong snorted, tossing his phone onto the couch before launching himself after it. 

"Now it's Mingi's turn!" Wooyoung chirped, setting his sights on the bathroom door as though he could summon Mingi through will alone. Hongjoong settled in to watch the ensuing mayhem with three immobilising hexes on the tip of his tongue.

He managed to compromise with San and postpone the platinum blonde to a day without a public gathering, though the younger witch insisted on wrestling him into a loose-necked black t-shirt and some jeans that were so tight Hongjoong feared for his testicles. Wooyoung also stopped him from wearing his tokens, shoving them into the cutlery drawer with a comment about showing off his collarbones. Hongjoong wasn't exactly sure why anyone would find his protruding skeleton parts attractive, but Wooyoung had a crazed look in his eye and Hongjoong was too tipsy to remember any hexes to fight him. In any case, he wasn't going to be doing any spellwork at a party, so he let it go and accepted the thin black choker that San tied around his throat with a gleeful sound.

They arrived at Yunho's house only an hour late, surprised to find the moderately sized apartment absolutely jam-packed full of people, probably approaching forty all up. Hongjoong made a face as San dragged him in by the elbow, forcing him to smile and nod and apologise as they squirmed through various conversations in an effort to find Yunho. At one point he came face to chest with Wooseok, who seemed just as surprised to see him out of their work setting. Hongjoong shook off San's grip on his arm and shooed him away so he could talk.

"Hongjoong! You know Yuto?" Wooseok asked, brows furrowing beneath his overgrown fringe. 

"Yuto?"

"Yuto Adachi?"

"Uh - no, I'm friends with Yunho. I've never been to his place though," he explained.

"Yeah, Tzuyu said he's never here," Wooseok commented, nodding. "You do kinda know Yuto, though, he comes in to get lunch with me all the time."

Hongjoong frowned, alcohol making his brain slow as he connected the dots. 

"Wait, the scary dude? Your height, deep voice, kinda built, frowny eyebrows?"

"Scary?" Wooseok echoed, raising an eyebrow. "That dude?" He gestured with his beer bottle and Hongjoong looked over to see the man in question pouting miserably as he attempted to climb into the lap of a much smaller, slightly hysterical man with navy blue hair.

"Huh," Hongjoong said intelligently.

"Also, your friend is calling you," Wooseok told him. "I'm going to prevent Hwitaek from being crushed. Catch you later." 

Hongjoong glanced over to see San beckoning him furiously and he sighed, steeling his heart for more hurting. However, as soon as he set foot in the kitchen, he could tell something was up with Seonghwa. He was leaning against the counter, drinking from a plastic cup and laughing along at some stupid argument that Mingi had started with San. He looked incredible as usual - hair styled, makeup subtle and perfect - but there was something off. His smile was too brittle, his laughter strained. The constellations nested in his hair were dull and twitchy, as though they couldn't settle in one pattern for too long. Hs looked  _ sad _ , and Hongjoong immediately put aside all of his own feelings to focus on Seonghwa, lazily sidling over to nudge the taller boy with his shoulder. Seonghwa immediately leaned back into him with a small but genuine smile, and Hongjoong's chest seized up when the constellations flickered a little brighter. He followed Yunho's impassioned case on how pocket dimensions could  _ technically _ be used as a condom for about four seconds before deciding to save his brain cells and just talk to the only other intelligent being in the room. 

"Are the others here yet? I didn't see them in the living room," he commented, turning around to survey the selection of drinks set out on the countertop. 

"Jongho said he's running late but Yeosang should be back soon. He and Wooyoung, ah, went out for more ice, I think."

Hongjoong noticed the waver in his voice as he mentioned Yeosang, but didn't push. Even if Seonghwa wanted to tell him anything after their awkward interaction the previous day, it probably wouldn't happen in a poky little kitchen with a low quality Post Malone remix and a faint smell of weed to set the tone. 

"Cool, cool. What did you end up writing your contemporary divination essay on, in the end?" 

Seonghwa seemed relieved at the change of topic. 

"I wrote about the potential applications of somatomancy in medicine," he explained. "Like to help with diagnostics or assessing treatment progress. Since I've got a bit of affinity for blood magic I thought it would be cool to do something showing how it can be useful." 

"Somato-what? Dumb it down for me," Hongjoong requested as he picked out an unopened can of beer. He was usually more of a liquor person, but the only other option was a suspiciously neon pink punch in a bowl labelled 'sangria'. He was pretty sure the little colourful lumps in it were just half-melted gummy bears, but he valued his life more than he trusted Yunho to make non-toxic punch. Seonghwa set off on a little impromptu presentation about reading bones and x-rays, and Hongjoong got interested despite himself, almost forgetting about the weird tension in the room. He was just about to ask Seonghwa to explain more about bloodwork and pain scales when the weight of a slightly tipsy Wooyoung settled on his shoulders, silk-clad arms looping over to pin his elbows to his sides. 

"Joongie," he mumbled, the endearment signalling that he wanted something. "Can you go help Jongho in the bathroom? He's got a situation. I'll keep Seonghwa company for you," he added, sliding off Hongjoong to attach himself to a very fond Seonghwa. 

Hongjoong rolled his eyes.

"If there are any bodily fluids involved in this, I'm going to hang you by your ears from our balcony," Hongjoong informed Wooyoung, then tossed his empty can in the recycling bin and started shuffling past the crowd of people, snagging a rainbow sherbet candy from a levitating dish as he went. He heard Wooyoung mutter something like 'but how will he reach' followed by a squeak of pain as Seonghwa probably defended Hongjoong's honour. The rainbow candy tasted suspiciously like marshmallow vodka and he pulled a face as he approached the bathroom, regretting his mistake in thinking Yunho would ever provide normal snacks. He knocked on the bathroom door, moving his face closer so he could yell over the music and voices.

"Jongho, it's me!" 

When the door opened, Hongjoong was prepared for a wide range of situations. Jongho with his zipper trapped. Jongho rediscovering why he wasn't allowed to drink tequila. Jongho holding a towel rail he'd accidentally broken with his brute strength. What he  _ wasn't  _ expecting was Jongho, completely sober, hair shocked up comically with static electricity, concernedly poking at someone in the bathtub with a plastic broom handle. 

"Hongjoong, thank god. You have to help me with Yeosang, he's upset and he's gone all witchy," the youngest pleaded. Hongjoong let himself in and locked the door behind him, moving close enough to see that the person in the bathtub was in fact a tear-stained Yeosang, curled up with his knees under his chin and his hands tucked under his green sweatshirt. His usually dark eyes were lit up pale blue and little crackles of electricity chased over his skin like tiny arcs of lightning. 

"Oh," Hongjoong said, trying to dredge up any memories he had of electricity resistance spells from high school elementalism. "I don't have my - I'm not very good at magical - Why don't we fetch Seonghwa?" 

Yeosang gave a little hiccup and there was a sharp snapping sound as the electricity flared out, sending a swift, painful shock through Hongjoong's body and making him gasp. Jongho yelped and made a series of meaningful hand-across-the-throat gestures. Right, no mentioning Seonghwa. 

"San's too drunk," Jongho hissed under his breath, "Yunho's afraid of lightning and Mingi's even less magically minded than you are. I've been trying to talk to him but he gets guilty about zapping me and it upsets him even more. Can't you do some magic and the whole concerned older brother thing?" 

"I'm an only child." 

Jongho shot him a skeptical look.

Hongjoong groaned. 

"Alright,  _ fine _ , you get back to the party. I'll do my best," he said, ushering Jongho out of the door. Not keen to trust his verbal spellcasting, Hongjoong looked around for something to write on, but the closest thing was an unopened bar of lemongrass soap sitting neglected next to the sink. He quickly stripped it of the plastic packaging and then used his fingernail to scrape a basic protective symbol into it, adding what he hoped was an electricity ward around the edges. Cursing Wooyoung for convincing him to leave his tokens at home, he concentrated hard on shoving out as much magical energy as he could muster, and the soap glowed briefly as he felt a very patchy surge of magic emanate from the bar. It smelled more of sea salt than lemongrass now, and he wasn't sure what that meant, but he shoved the soap into the front of his shirt and hoped for the best. As he moved closer to Yeosang, the electricity still tingled unpleasantly through his limbs, but it didn't hurt, so he figured the spell was doing something, at least. 

"Come on, Yeosangie. Talk to me," he said, climbing into the bath. The electricity snapped out again and it stung Hongjoong's fingers, but the spell held. 

"Sorry about that," Yeosang mumbled, "I'm usually better at containing it but I'm kind of drunk." 

"Don't worry about it. Don't you know San involuntarily conjures poisonous plant life when he's mad? I'll take a bit of static over poison ivy any day," Hongjoong reassured him, reaching out to take Yeosang's hands in his own. He ran his thumbs soothingly over the backs of Yeosang's hands, squeezing reassuringly as the younger boy hesitated.

"I kissed Seonghwa," Yeosang said suddenly, finally raising his frightening cobalt eyes to look at Hongjoong. Hongjoong carefully schooled his reaction into a smile, ignoring the little sad pang that resonated after the words. 

"That's good…?" he prompted. Yeosang's lower lip wobbled. 

"I didn't want to," he admitted. "I don't want to. I just - I thought I should try and learn to like it, but it felt wrong, which is  _ stupid  _ because Seonghwa is like, perfect and sweet and he's my  _ soulmate _ , but there's something wrong with me and I started to cry like an idiot and ran away, so he probably hates me now and I -" 

"- hey, hey," Hongjoong interrupted as the electricity swelled back up, burning his hands, "Yeosang, it's okay. I know for a fact that Seonghwa is physically incapable of hating you, so let's throw that right out. Why did you run away? You didn't want to kiss Seonghwa? Like, you weren't ready?" he guessed, trying to understand. Yeosang's mouth turned down. 

"No, like… I don't want to kiss anyone. Not boys, not girls, not anyone else. I'm fucked up and I just… can't want it," he said miserably. "Not even with my own soulmate. I used to hope it was you, because I had such a devastating crush on you that I thought something would just happen, you know? And then it turned out to be Seonghwa, and I thought for  _ sure _ I could make myself want him, but I just  _ can't _ because there's something wrong with me. And Yunho got drunk and let slip that you're still in love with Seonghwa - and then I've just shown up and ruined everything and hurt both of you when I can't even - I'm not even - and I'm really, really sorry that I just -" He tailed off with a shaky breath and hid his face in his knees, clearly trying to ward off some kind of anxiety attack. 

Hongjoong was reeling. This was the most he'd ever heard Yeosang talk in one sitting, and it was rather a lot of new information to take in. On top of that, the increasing electrical current was starting to sting quite badly. He tried to sort through his thoughts quickly, searching for a response that would at least get Yeosang to calm down.

"Look at me, Yeosang. I'm not an expert on this kind of stuff and I can't say I understand what you're feeling," he admitted, "But at the end of the day, me and - and Seonghwa, we'll be okay, and I don't ever want you to feel guilty. We both care about you so much, okay?" 

"Okay," Yeosang mumbled, his voice still high and tight. Hongjoong ignored the burning in his fingertips as he reached up to push Yeosang's hair back from his face, his heart panging as the younger boy leaned into the touch. 

"I don't know much, but I do know that gender and sexuality and relationships are all just a huge mess. None of us know what we're doing! And anyone who judges you for what you feel is an asshole. Do you think I'm an asshole?" 

Yeosang's eyes flickered darker for a moment as his mouth twitched close to a smile. 

"Well, to San and Mingi-" 

"- they don't count -"

"- then no."

"And is Seonghwa an asshole?"

"Of course not," Yeosang protested.

"So just ignoring all these complications about soulmates and feelings and whatever, do you think that Seonghwa is really going to do anything other than support you if you just get together and talk about it?" 

Yeosang offered him a weak smile. 

"No." 

His eyes were almost back to normal and Hongjoong huffed a relieved laugh, reaching over to pinch at Yeosang's cheek. 

"Naw, Sangie had a crush on me," he cooed obnoxiously, ignoring Yeosang's attempts to slap him away. The teasing drove the rest of the magic away and Hongjoong shook out his now electricity-free hands.

"That was before I knew how evil you are, you horrible old gremlin," Yeosang sniped. Hongjoong scowled and made to tug his hair, but Yeosang ducked out of the way and jammed his fingers into Hongjoong's ribs to try and tickle him.

The ensuing playfight caused the bar of soap to slide out from under Hongjoong's shirt and Yeosang stared curiously at it. 

"Is that a weather warding spell?" 

Hongjoong shrugged. 

"I was going for electricity resistance," he admitted. Yeosang picked the bar up and raised an eyebrow. 

"There's hardly any magic in this at all. This would maybe help you avoid being rained on, but it's definitely useless at defending you from a storm witch in a bathtub," he said, laughing. "Is this what happens when you don't have your tokens? This is the worst spell I've ever seen and that's including Mingi's Tinder hookup fortune charm." 

Hongjoong stuck his tongue out, scowling childishly, and unfolded himself into a standing position. 

"It's good that I'm the best at everything else, then, isn't it? C'mon, let's go find Hwa." 

He linked hands with Yeosang as they re-emerged into the crowded apartment, narrowly avoiding being bowled over by a young woman who had been waiting to pee. Jongho had been standing guard outside the door and he sent Hongjoong a hesitant thumbs up as they went past him. 

It turned out Seonghwa had taken a moment to himself out on the wicker chair on Yunho's balcony, and Hongjoong cursed him a little under his breath as he wriggled through all the bodies in the living room, sending an awkward smile to Yuto as they elbowed their way through his conversation with a nervous-looking man in an oversized button-up. Once they emerged onto the balcony, Hongjoong ended up depositing a watery-eyed Yeosang nearly into the other witch's lap, laughing to cover the acidic sensation in his chest when Seonghwa instinctively scooped the younger up into a hug. 

"Talk it out," he advised both of them, "You're my favourite people in the world, okay? It makes me sad when you guys are sad." 

Yeosang sent him a heartbreaking pout as he shifted back into the apartment and slid the door shut behind him.

With both objects of his affection returned to their rightful place in each others' arms, Hongjoong could relax his tight hold on his own emotions, the remaining alcohol in his system doing nothing to tamp down the anxiety thrumming through his veins. The party suddenly seemed too loud and bright, the crowd of bodies and laughter a suffocating mass of sensation that prickled at his skin like ants. Hongjoong ignored a call of his name as he picked his way to the edge of the room, one hand against the cool, painted wall to steady him as he made his way to the front door and out into the empty corridor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, pentagon; love those nerds


	10. Lavender

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .... Finally  
> I've been having a rough time lately so this is a shamelessly self comforting finish to this fic!  
> Thank you all so so much for reading, especially you absolute babes who commented and encouraged me to keep writing it (gonna reply to everyone on my next day off, I promise!).  
> I hope you enjoy the last chapter and found a bit of magic in my little universe.  
> Thank you !!
> 
> P.s. the M rating comes into existence here; but nothing too explicit!

Hongjoong had enough presence of mind to send a message to the group chat, citing a headache as the reason for him bailing. He received a flurry of concerned messages in response, but could only stand to look at his phone long enough to tell them not to come after him because he just needed peace and quiet. When he let himself into their dark, silent apartment, part of him regretted that decision, craving physical reassurance or even just the presence of another person nearby to stave off the irrational feeling that he was completely alone in the world. The other part of him was a persistent, ugly part that told him he deserved to be alone for a while. He wasn't entitled to ruin his friends' night just because he couldn't get himself together. Hongjoong usually squashed that part down whenever it started getting too loud, used a barrage of logic and positivity to stamp it back to the hidden corner of his brain it belonged in. 

Tonight, though, he was tired. Tired of rationalising, tired of pretending, tired of bottling all his emotions up where they wouldn't make a mess. Tonight, he left the lights off and crumpled in the hallway, letting all the sadness and hurt flow through him like a conduit, allowing every negative and self-deprecating thought to be released and listened to and discarded. He cried himself out until he felt sore and hollow, his eyes hot and irritated, his joints aching from sitting on the tiled floor in the cold. He sat for a few moments longer, listening to his own ragged breathing, then slowly tugged his shoes off and got to his feet. 

In the bathroom, he avoided his own eyes in the mirror, unwilling to see the mess he'd made of Wooyoung's makeup, and just struggled out of his clothes and into a hot shower. The water stung his arms and he squinted down to see a scattering of small, blistering electrical burns over his hands and forearms, made red and angry by the heat. With a sigh, he turned the water temperature down and resolved to deal with them later. 

Hongjoong had always found water soothing and the shower was no exception, the ritual of washing his hair and removing makeup returning his breathing back to normal and replacing the emptiness with a sense of calm. He changed into soft clothes and pulled out the first aid kit from under the sink, carefully applying disinfectant to each small burn and covering it with a dressing. Out of the hot water, they seemed much less serious - no worse than catching your finger for a moment on a hot iron. After that, he fished his tokens out of the kitchen drawer and made himself lavender and honey tea, crushing sea salt in his palm to give him the energy to push a little sleep charm into the liquid as he poured it. He dragged a heavy blanket out from the linen cupboard, started up Kiki's Delivery Service on the TV screen, then settled in to drink his tea. As usual, he felt better after giving himself a chance to actually feel, the release of bottled up emotions making way for clarity and logic. He knew, rationally, that being disorganised and having anxious periods didn't make him less worthy of friendship or attention. It was reasonable for him to be sad about Seonghwa and it was silly for him to hide it from his friends. With that in mind, he pulled out his phone and responded to Yunho's messages with the truth - that he had been upset but felt better - then finished his tea and let himself drift off to the gentle Hisaishi soundtrack.

"Should I wake him up?" 

A concerned hiss.

"Does he look hungover?" 

A quiet call from another room. 

"No?" 

Hongjoong slitted one eye open to see a figure standing directly in front of him, clad in silky pyjamas and holding a plastic grocery bag. He registered the smell of coffee, but it wasn't enough to motivate him to leave the cozy nest he'd made of the sofa. Instead, he squinted up at the person in front of him - it was Yeosang.

"M'not hungover, be quiet," he grumbled, then shot out one hand to grab Yeosang's wrist, tugging him down onto the sofa with great force. Yeosang landed beside him with a yelp, his solid body heat adding nicely to the feeling of being squashed into a warm cocoon, and Hongjoong snaked an arm around his waist to keep him down. Yeosang didn't bother to fight him and a few seconds later Hongjoong heard the muted start-up music to one of the mobile games San and Wooyoung had been playing a lot. He hummed contentedly and went back to sleep. 

"Yeosang. You were supposed to wake him up, not fall asleep with him," Seonghwa complained, his voice muffled by the arm that was shoved up against Hongjoong's ear. "Come on, both of you. I have hot coffee." 

Hongjoong let out an inhuman sound as the warm weight against his side was removed, making way for the stinging glare of sunlight coming through the front window. He turned to glare at the culprit, but the culprit was Seonghwa, hair rumpled and face bare, clad in a faded Zelda t-shirt and plaid pyjama pants, and Hongjoong’s resolve to be grouchy evaporated immediately. 

“Thank you,” he grumbled instead, accepting the mug from Seonghwa’s hands. Then he noticed how terrible his mouth tasted and shuffled off to the bathroom to clean his teeth. When he came back, feet unpleasantly icy from the bathroom tiles, he half registered the way they'd left a space for him to curl up between them, but didn't think much of it. Except, about halfway through his coffee, he realised they were both staring at him fairly intently and he was literally trapped in the middle.

"Oh," he said awkwardly. "Did you guys - uh - is everything okay now?" 

Seonghwa huffed, amused. 

"I think we've worked out about two thirds of it," he said. "But there seems to have been a lot of miscommunication and much of it centres around you." 

Guilt twisted unpleasantly in Hongjoong's chest and he gripped his coffee mug tightly, feeling trapped. 

"I'm sorry," he offered quietly. 

Yeosang flicked him on the ear and he yelped.

"Don't do that," Yeosang scolded.

"Do what?" Hongjoong demanded, clutching his ear protectively.

"Assume that everything's your fault," Yeosang said, "I can  _ see _ you internalising. That's what got us into this mess." 

"I'm sorry," Hongjoong said reflexively, and then flinched away from Yeosang's hand. 

Seonghwa sighed. 

"Yeosang, I think this will be easier if we explain our side first. Then we'll see how Hongjoong feels about it." 

Anxiety thrummed in Hongjoong's ears and he gulped the rest of his coffee so that he could get the mug out of his restless hands. Yeosang took the empty cup and placed it on the floor. Then he leaned in and kissed Hongjoong square on the mouth. Seonghwa made a surprised noise from behind them and Hongjoong froze, his brain stuck somewhere between 'what the fuck?' and 'no really, what the fuck?' as Yeosang pulled away, looking pleased with himself.

"What the fuck?" Seonghwa asked helpfully.

"How did that feel?" Yeosang asked Hongjoong, ignoring the question.

Hongjoong flailed internally, completely taken aback.

"I - uh?" he managed.

"Good or bad? Butterflies? Romance? Love at first kiss?" Yeosang prompted, amusement dancing in his eyes.

"Not - bad?" Hongjoong tried, "But I don't have - I don't feel that way about you?"

"But you still love me as a friend?" Yeosang checked. 

"Of course!" 

"Great. That's how I feel about Seonghwa. And you too, incidentally." 

There were a few moments of silence during which Hongjoong's brain desperately tried to process the events of the last fifty-six or so seconds. Luckily, Seonghwa seemed to gather himself first and Hongjoong turned to face him as he spoke.

"There were probably a hundred less aggressively tactless ways to phrase that," he said, exasperated. 

Yeosang rolled his eyes.

"I think we've thoroughly established that Hongjoong doesn't respond well to subtlety," he pointed out, "Sometimes you just have to kiss him. You should try it," he added slyly. 

Colour rose in Seonghwa's cheeks and he leant forward to smack Yeosang on the leg. 

"Are you - what are you guys talking about?" Hongjoong demanded. "You can't just - just say  _ no _ to being soulmates! Aren't there consequences to that?" 

He tucked his knees up under his chin, trying to hide the fact his voice had gone all tight and unsteady. 

"We're still soulmates, Hongjoong," Seonghwa said gently. "We just don't want a relationship. Yeosang thinks he's probably aromantic, maybe asexual too. He just wants to be platonic."

Hongjoong blinked, some of the tension leaving his stomach. 

"Is that possible?" 

Seonghwa's mouth twisted. 

"It seems that you and Yeosang have both been going about this with ideas straight from the 1950s," he explained. "There's no guaranteed love at first sight, no requirement to be together in any way other than magically."

"That's - that can't be right," Hongjoong stammered, "Every pair I know, they're together, and then in books, movies, you know? Everyone says -" 

"- Seonghwa says it's like marrying someone if you get them pregnant," Yeosang interjected. "Like it still happens a lot but it's not seen as a requirement anymore, right?" 

Hongjoong knew there was a false equivalence there and he tried to come up with the right words to express the difference between societal expectations and actual, binding magic, but his brain just refused to cooperate.

"No," he said instead, voice firm, "No, I've  _ seen _ it happen, with my parents. Mom met her soulmate but she stayed with me and my dad instead. She was so guilty, felt so bad for meeting him. Dad was guilty because he was keeping her from her soulmate, and they started to argue all the time. Mom was wasting away, literally. Her magic started to wane and all the spells she did started falling apart." 

It made his chest hurt to think about it, remembering how the plants in the kitchen had withered, how the small repairs to clocks and dishes and clothes had slowly faded away, leaving the original damage on display. The stalemate in the house had risen to breaking point, until Hongjoong's childhood protection charm had come apart in his mother's hands and she'd broken down in the hallway, cradling the scraps of blanket, shells and driftwood in her palms. Then his father had told her to go and find  _ him _ , for god's sake. 

In the present moment, he registered Seonghwa's warm hand sliding over his own cold fingers, curling loosely so that he could break away if he wanted to. He didn't want to. 

"They're okay now?" he asked.

Hongjoong nodded. 

"Once she started seeing Sanghun, everything got better. Dad was really distant for a while, working all the time, but eventually they both moved on. But I don't - I  _ can't  _ do that to us," he croaked, meeting Yeosang's eyes somewhat desperately. 

Yeosang fell in closer, leaning his head on Hongjoong's shoulder. 

"You won't," he reassured, "It's not like that for us." 

"Hongjoong, have you ever considered…" Seonghwa said hesitantly, "That… maybe it was your parents' handling of the situation that caused the trouble? I mean I don't know enough to say but it sounds like you were all operating under the assumption that your mom would just forget her feelings for your dad when she met her soulmate." 

Hongjoong shrugged.

"I guess it could have been," he admitted, "I genuinely believed that's how soulmates worked. Maybe they did too?" 

"Same," Yeosang added in, "My family is very traditional about it."

"My lesbian aunt had a male soulmate," Seonghwa said, huffing a laugh, "So we got taught from an early age." 

"So this whole time…" Hongjoong started uncertainly.

"This whole time, you and I have been trying to set up an unnecessary and weird soulmate relationship whilst Seonghwa has been trying to respect our decisions and privacy whilst having no fucking clue what was going on," Yeosang summed it up. 

Hongjoong turned to look at Seonghwa, helpless.

"But why didn't anybody tell me about platonic soulmates? Everyone says it was obvious how I feel about you," he pointed out, frustrated. 

"You said you were dating someone else," Seonghwa reminded him gently. "I only know otherwise because Mingi can't keep his mouth shut and mentioned how he's now dating your supposed boyfriend." 

Hongjoong's mouth opened and closed as he processed how his behaviour would have seemed to Seonghwa over the past few weeks - avoiding him, setting up a date, using that date to reject him for another person, avoiding him some more - wait - 

"Oh my god, so you were upset about Youngjo?" he realised out loud. 

Seonghwa's mouth pulled into a grimace and he shrugged. 

"Fuckssake," Hongjoong groaned, bending forward to bury his face in his knees. "I'm such an idiot."

"But you're  _ our _ idiot," Yeosang said fondly, patting him on the back. "And I'm taking this as my cue. You guys can talk through all your stuff; I'll be in Mingi's room playing games. With headphones," he added slyly. 

Hongjoong watched him pad over to Mingi's door, awkwardly throw a peace sign and then disappear. He desperately didn't want to look at Seonghwa, but he forced himself to raise his head. 

"Um - are you sure you're okay with not being with Yeosang that way?" he asked cautiously. Seonghwa blinked at him. 

"Of course. I love him, but as a close friend, a family member. That's just how we're meant to be, I guess."

"It's not just to placate him or because you think it's the right thing to do?" Hongjoong checked. 

Seonghwa smiled wryly.

"Not all of us are as self-sacrificing as you, Hongjoong. Don't you remember how I kept pushing you?" 

"Pushing me?" Hongjoong asked, shifting to sit cross legged and face him. 

"After your exam, when I - I don't know. You just looked so cute and I knew it made you uncomfortable, but I just hoped so much at that moment that you had feelings for me too," Seonghwa admitted, staring intently at his fingernails.

Hongjoong hummed. 

"Of course I do," he said simply. 

Seonghwa's eyebrows pulled into a frown. 

"So when you told me to ask Yeosang out and said you were dating Youngjo - why not just tell me? Even if Yeosang and I were romantically interested, we would have figured it out," he said, time exasperated.

"I've had feelings for you almost as long as we've known each other, Hwa. But you had a soulmate and I felt I couldn't compete with that - that it would be  _ wrong _ to compete, and impossible besides," Hongjoong murmured.

"Did you really think I'd find my soulmate and just drop my feelings for you like they were nothing?" Seonghwa asked, sounding a little irritated.

"Well yeah," Hongjoong said, keeping his eyes on the ground. They really needed to mop more often. "I mean, how could it ever be serious for you when you had the perfect person lined up for you somewhere?" 

Seonghwa made a strangled sound. 

" _ You _ are my perfect person, you idiot," Seonghwa told him. 

"But I - I'm a mess," Hongjoong said to the sofa cushions, "I never talk about my feelings and I can't do magic to save my life and you're so… Yeosang is so…" he gestured with one hand, "And I can't even keep on top of my assignments so I get snappy with everyone and -"

"- Hongjoong," Seonghwa interrupted, leaning over to grab Hongjoong by the wrists. Hongjoong startled and brought his eyes up to meet Seonghwa's, chewing anxiously on his bottom lip. "I know all of that about you. Likewise, I'm fussy and maybe have a complex about germs and I sometimes don't manage to think outside of my privileged upbringing." 

Hongjoong tried to protest but Seonghwa shushed him.

"You're not perfect. I'm not perfect. This isn't some fleeting crush, okay? I had my soulmate in my arms and all I could think about was you. Doesn't that tell you something? I would give up my soulbond entirely if it was the only way I could be with you." 

Hongjoong swallowed hard. 

"Do you really mean that?" he whispered, searching Seonghwa's face for any uncertainty. 

Instead of replying, Seonghwa moved forwards and kissed him. The first touch felt like relief - like a soft bed after a hard day, like a warm fire after a long walk in the cold. Seonghwa's lips were warm and so, so soft, tasting like toothpaste and coffee. Hongjoong's breath caught as Seonghwa's hand came up to cradle his jaw, holding him gently, as though he were something fragile and precious. It made him feel small and overwhelmed, heat rising in his face as a breathless little sound escaped his mouth, hands curling into fists where they rested on his lap.

Seonghwa broke the kiss and pulled back a bit, eyes searching Hongjoong's face, considerate as always. His constellations were shimmering so brightly they were casting golden light onto his hair, shifting and swirling like a kaleidoscope in slow motion. Hongjoong was transfixed.

"Is this okay?" Seonghwa asked, breaking the spell.

"So okay," Hongjoong told him, rising up onto his knees, "Want more."

He nudged Seonghwa further back onto the sofa and then slid into his lap, trying to bring their bodies as close together as they could get. Seonghwa seemed surprised at his boldness, but quickly adapted, guiding Hongjoong with one hand travelling up his thigh and the other wrapping around his waist. Hongjoong breathed out shakily and kissed Seonghwa again, heart thudding wildly in his ears, hands a little unsteady with how much he wanted. Emotion welled up in his chest, so intense that it felt like a physical force, like a bubble of air rising to the surface of the sea. He smiled into the kiss and Seonghwa matched him, teeth catching Hongjoong's lip awkwardly and making them both laugh. Seonghwa pulled Hongjoong in close, face pressed into his neck, breath puffing against his collarbones. The raw magic of his constellations sent a prickle of static electricity running between them, making Hongjoong shiver as he felt his hair frizz and float. Seonghwa squeezed hard enough to make his ribs protest and laughed when Hongjoong wheezed and slapped at his shoulders. 

"Can't really believe this is happening," he said quietly. Hongjoong could feel the soft brush of eyelashes against his skin. 

"If it helps, I can't really bel- ah-" Hongjoong cut himself off with an embarrassing gasp as Seonghwa pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the side of his throat, leaving a sharp, perfect ache as he nipped gently at the skin with his teeth. Hongjoong knew there would be a mark there later and the thought sent arousal tingling down his spine. He would be ashamed of how quickly he'd gotten worked up just from making out, except he could feel Seonghwa's hard on underneath his thigh and that was sufficiently distracting him from any self-consciousness. Firm hands moved down to hold him by the hips as the kisses trailed up and over his jaw and then Seonghwa's mouth was on his own again and Hongjoong thought he could die happily like this. He hooked one arm over Seonghwa's shoulders to draw closer, his other hand coming up to grip at the fabric of Seonghwa's hoodie, trying to ground himself as he deepened the kiss. 

Seonghwa made his task infinitely harder by responding with a low, urgent sound and using his tongue to trace the seam of Hongjoong's mouth. He played with the hem of Hongjoong's shirt, fingertips brushing feather-light against the skin of his lower back. Hongjoong couldn't stop the shiver that went through him at the tingling sensation, his breath coming hot and shallow against Seonghwa's lips. Seonghwa seemed to take that as a good response and he slid his hands higher to hold Hongjoong by the waist, pulling down with a bruising grip as he rolled his hips up.

Hongjoong  _ whined _ and he tensed up like he'd been properly electrifried, crushing the fabric of Seonghwa's hoodie in his hand. Seonghwa pulled back, breathing heavily. 

"Hey, is this too much?" he asked.

Hongjoong's first instinct was to ignore the question and start kissing again, maybe grind back against Seonghwa to chase that brief surge of pleasure. But Seonghwa's expression was serious and Hongjoong became aware of their surroundings once more.

He groaned, slumping forward into Seonghwa's chest. His hair stuck to Seonghwa's skin with static.

"I want to say no, but we're in the living room, Yeosang's here, the door isn't locked and we could be swarmed by hungover idiots any moment now."

Seonghwa laughed, pulling Hongjoong's shirt back down. 

"That idea does detract from the mood. I want to take you on a date first, anyway, a proper date." 

Hongjoong pulled back to glare at him. He determinedly tried not to notice how hot Seonghwa looked with his hair mussed and lips red from kissing. He only mostly failed.

"I should have known you'd be that romantic sappy type of boyfriend," he complained. 

"It's one date, Joong, not waiting 'til marriage," Seonghwa said, rolling his eyes. 

"Yeah, I wanna hold hands and share ice-cream and all that but I also want you in my mouth  _ yesterday _ ," Hongjoong pouted, flinching as Seonghwa's fingers dug a little too roughly into his sides. 

"Jesus Christ, you can't just say something like that. I thought we were trying to calm down," he complained. 

"Just stating a fact," Hongjoong said innocently, but he shifted off Seonghwa's lap to sit at a more respectable distance. Slightly awkwardly, they started talking about somatomancy again and after a while there was nothing to give them away except their occasional shy glances. And of course the glaringly obvious hickey on Hongjoong's throat. 

"Holy SHIT, Hongjoong got laid!" Mingi hollered as he entered the living room. As Hongjoong froze on the sofa like a startled rabbit, a Wooyoung-propelled shoe came flying into the room and Mingi yelped as it hit him hard on the shoulder.

"Some of us are still recovering and need some peace and - Jesus fuck, Hongjoong, what is that?" Wooyoung squeaked, tugging San further into the room. Both of them were still wearing yesterday's clothes and Wooyoung had lipstick smeared on one cheek whilst San's hair had a piece of starburst candy wrapper stuck in it.

"That's a hickey," San observed helpfully, rounding the corner so he could stand beside Mingi. "And Seonghwa's here." 

"But - but what about Yeosang?" Wooyoung asked, eyes wide.

"What about me, bitch?" 

Everyone turned to stare at the doorway to Mingi's bedroom, where Yeosang was standing with his Switch in hand and a huge pair of Hello Kitty slippers on his feet.

"Who said you could wear my best slippers?" Mingi demanded.

He was ignored. 

"You guys missed some stuff but me and Seonghwa aren't dating. But Seonghwa and Hongjoong might be?" Yeosang added, raising an eyebrow at Hongjoong. 

Hongjoong fidgeted as everyone turned to look at him, but Seonghwa got in first, taking Hongjoong's hand in his own. 

"We are."

There was a brief cacophony of  _ I told you so _ and  _ fucking finally _ and other assorted threats and profanities, but Hongjoong let it wash over him, too focussed on holding hands with someone he never thought he'd have a chance with. 

"But Seonghwa," San said, falling into a beanbag with a grunt, "I never picked you as a vampire." 

Seonghwa's face lit up red and Hongjoong scowled. 

"It can't be that bad," he grumbled, heaving himself up to go and look in the bathroom mirror as Seonghwa trailed anxiously behind.

"Oh my god!" 

"I'm sorry?" Seonghwa offered meekly

"Why did you have to bite so hard?" Hongjoong hissed, inspecting the damage close up. He slapped away Seonghwa's probing fingers. "No, don't press on it unless you want me to have to hide for ten minutes in here." 

Seonghwa's lips tugged up into a smug smirk. 

"Oh really? You like being marked up?" 

Hongjoong could physically feel the blush travel up his face as he watched it in the mirror.

"That's not what I said."

"Or is it the pain that turns you on?" Seonghwa prompted, head tilting. 

"Blood magic!" 

Seonghwa blinked.

"Before those morons arrived, you were talking about blood magic," Hongjoong explained, voice slightly too high pitched. "Something about using thralls for emergency sedatives…?" 

Seonghwa narrowed his eyes.

"Fine, you can get away with it for now."

"Thank you," Hongjoong cooed, obnoxiously performed a few aegyo poses and ducking out of the way when Seonghwa tried to smack him. 

"Come on, we need to go and let the others have their allotted twenty-three minutes of disrespect," Seonghwa told him, reaching out.

"Why twenty-three minutes?" Hongjoong asked, accepting the hand. Seonghwa pulled him over and then followed through, tugging him close. It felt so  _ good _ and Hongjoong almost wanted to cry. 

"That's the amount of time I've decided I'm willing to wait before we go somewhere with a lock and make out again." 

Hongjoong scowled and shoved him, blushing despite himself. 

"I thought you said you wanted a date first," he pointed out. 

Seonghwa pouted. 

"So  _ now  _ you want a date," he complained, "If you make hot chocolate and we watch a movie together in your room, does that count?" 

Hongjoong tapped one finger against his lips, pretending to consider. 

"I suppose I could be persuaded," he allowed. 

"Good," Seonghwa said, leaning down to kiss him again. "I'll work on my sales pitch." 

Their kiss was interrupted by aggressive thumping on the bathroom wall. 

"No fucking in the bathroom!" San called, followed by a round of muffled giggling. 

Hongjoong breathed out through his nose, eyes closed. 

"It may be a stretch," he said, "but I think have enough charged sand left to hex all four of them so that everything they eat tastes like seaweed for the next week." 

Seonghwa laughed and shook his head, tugging Hongjoong behind him as he headed out to face the onslaught of teasing. 

The thing about dating another witch - the more  _ witchy _ kind of witch - was that you always risked getting tangled up in their magic. You might get zapped with magical static when you kissed, or find bits of starlight in your sea water spells, or end up loving their soulmate like your own. Or, if you were Kim Hongjoong, you might do all three at once. 

  
  
  
  



End file.
